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Am I really bisexual or do I just date men out of fear.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Taina, May 8, 2016.

  1. Taina

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2016
    Messages:
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    Location:
    birmingham
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Has anyone else had this experience when questioning?

    When I was a little girl I only remember being attracted to women. I'd have tingly feelings for Tina from The Mask or any number of actresses. And my first crush was on my best friend Jessica.

    But when I got into my teens and started dating I dated guys. It never really occurred to me not to. It's what my friends did. And I never met another a gay girl. When I was older and met LGBT people I'd already had years of serious relationships with men. I could enjoy sex with men, fantasise about it, bond with them romantically... Like a bi or straight girl. So I took it for granted I was probably just bi curious, *maybe* bisexual.

    but... If I compare my relationships with men to what I feel if I'm really honest with myself, towards women, its like the difference between cheap home fireworks and a professional fireworks show. I wonder if I'm interested in them at all romantically or if I've just got used to dating them. Sex feels nice, and I can care about them a lot as friends, as well as enjoy the attention, but is there more to attraction than that?

    And yet I still haven't started dating women since I started questioning. Something is holding me back, like I can't imagine a woman ever being interested in me. Im afraid. And maybe part of me wants to feel normal? (I know that sounds awful, because it IS normal to be gay. But that's the feeling).

    But then sometimes I just wonder if I have intimacy issues with men and that's why I don't feel more spark. And I've not fallen in love with a woman either, and maybe that's not because I've not met enough gay girls, but because I'm not really gay/bi.
     
  2. DrinkBudweiser

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2014
    Messages:
    138
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    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Explore.

    There's nothing anyone can say on here other than that, that would suffice as an answer. Nobody on here determines your sexuality, you determine that. If you question whether or not you're into women, you won't ever know until you explore that option.
     
  3. Rachyl

    Rachyl Guest

    I would say to explore as well. You'll never know, until you do. DrinkBudweiser is right, no one can tell you your sexual orientation but yourself. All we can do is give you our own opinion. But I do understand, when you first start to question, and the fear involved. The desire to be *normal* whatever that is. But at the same time knowing that something isn't quite right or straight is not for you.

    But the only way to find out is to take time to just explore and BE.

    Good luck, and remember that it's ok to spend time just questioning.