This is something I sometimes think is a scene from a film, and not reality... A year ago, I came out to my best friend (and later to some other people) and after couple of days have passed, I started noticing women... It was the strangest sensation in my life. I remember preparing some tea and I suddenly noticed that there is a woman pictured on the tea box. I felt an urge to kiss her and touch her... Later I went out and I just couldn't stop wondering about their vaginas, I wanted to tear their clothes apart and touch their genitalia... I felt more dirty, more in tune with my male friends etc. I actually felt like I am welcomed to the brotherhood of men, like I finally realized what it is about... And after a few days, it fizzled out, it stopped happening to me... Which is very strange... Has anyone had anything similar?
A couple of times after I came out I suddenly 'realized' I'm actually straight, but it only lasted a few minutes and was just sort of anxiety. This might be what you're talking about, although with me I never actually felt any genuine attraction to the opposite sex while temporarily feeling 'straight', and it sounds like you did. But it might be some sort of coming out anxiety like mine was. Or you could have fluid sexuality, or some sexual attraction to women. Which of course doesn't prevent you choosing to identify as gay if you want to. Also, I'm sure you know this, but to be part of the 'brotherhood of men' you don't have to think of women in terms of, you know, vaginas and ripping off their clothes and stuff.
I know that feeling. This is also why I enjoyed sex with my ex-girlfriend (I'm male). I enjoyed it so much as I was still in love with the thought of being straight. While having sex with her, I could pretend to be straight, to be "normal", to belong to the world I have grown up in, be accepted by friends and family. So I think your attraction to the "female" after you came out, may not have been a physical attraction to the opposite sex - it rather might have been the desire to to be straight, to be "normal" and not gay... I experience this every now and then, especially when I'm together with my male friends, who do not know that I'm gay... all of a sudden I can derive pleasure from looking at girls and flirting. This 'pleasure' does not come from sexual arousal, though, but from the self-deception that I'd be more a part of the group (guy friends) if I act like this. And the "acting" here comes, like in your case, automatically... . So all in all, I think you might experience what looks like "straight preferences", but may be nothing more than the desire to be "normal"... I hope for myself that this will pass when I grow more confident in being myself in public.
