Effects of heteronormative society...

I'm in the exact same situation. I'm a bit of a romantic, so it's always been a secret desire of mine to be romantic to a girl, haha! Do everything without the sex. It just seems... incorrect doing it with a guy? I dunno.

 

Yeah I feel the same.

 

No...can't say I have. I don't want to be romantic with a girl, kiss one romantically or marry one. All my crushes have been on guys... .p.

 

Well, the most I could say is that I always thought I should have been attracted to women because I'm a guy. That's what kind of threw me off when I realised I was different than the other guys; I was gay.

Just to add, when I was younger (sometimes still now, but not as much though), my mum would ask me jokingly "Do you think you'll ever get married?" Back then, marriage to me was just a man and a woman, I'd never really been exposed to homosexual couples. So, for whatever reason, the idea just didn't appeal to me. I know of course now why it did appeal back then, though. Now when I think of getting married or living with someone, I think of another guy, and my heart kind of melts (soppy, I know).

Personally, I've never had any desire to be with woman though.

men's abs r gr8

 

Forcing me to repetitively question whether I'm bi, Making me wonder if my feelings are legitimate, learning nothing useful in Health class, being laughed at for fantasizing about being a cute couple, Barely any relatable characters in films, etc...

 

LITERALLY SAME.

I internally invalidate my own feelings, I think because I was taught - as many were, ever since I was old enough to understand love and couples, that heterosexual (and cisgender) was the norm and that anything outside of this was "other". So I'm always like "am I really bi?" because I was never taught what bisexuality was. I figured myself out alone, but it's definitely affected me as I sometimes feel that I don't really understand what bisexuality is, despite feeling an attraction towards men and women.

 

Yeah, same. Maybe I would consider having sex with a girl to see what it was like but there'd be no feelings involved. And of course I would have to be honest with them and they would have to be happy with that. Then again, that curiosity is probably down to the fact that my sex drive is quite high.

No desire to be romantic to girls/women to be honest.

 

This. All of this. It's probably harder for guys, because we're not as sexualized as bisexual females are. But we all go through the same things, and it stinks. Bi hugs!(&&&)

 

You know what, I do kind of do that sometimes, now that you mention it...

 

*All of the bi hugs*

Yeah, women are more sexualised, but I think that's another problem (other than the obvious one about sexualisation) in that bisexuality, for men as well as women, is often seen as nothing more than "experimenting". Personally, I absolutely hate it when two straight girls kiss for attention. If you're doing it to show support or some other reason then that's different, but girls who kiss each other just to give over-sexed straight guys something to look at piss me off. (Or straight guys who do it for girls but I've never actually heard of that happening). Like we don't have it hard enough without people like that pushing the idea that we only do it for attention.

 

Personally I LOVE bi women, I think it's sexy as hell. But not for the reasons straight guys do. It's because we have a core thing in common, that's what's sexy to me!

I hate when women(or men) do that crap too. STOP. You hurt me and other people WHO ARE ACTUALLY BISEXUAL, by feeding into that "attention whore" stereotype. We have enough issues without that. Straight and gay people already have enough "reasons" to not accept us let's not give them one more!(Not saying monosexuals as a whole, but I shouldn't need to explain what goes on, not here.)

*More bi hugs.*(&&&)

 

I don't know where you're getting this idea from that women are more sexualised than guys...I mean, I'd say it's equal the amount men and women are sexualised. Not that either are a bad thing, though.

except I like it more when men are sexualised

 

I'm doing so right now, in fact I do so a lot even though I know that I'm probably gay.

:bang:

Sometimes I wonder if I'd just be better giving up on labels completely. It's not like anyone would date me. :lol:

...

*cries internally*

:tears:

JK, but seriously though. :icon_sad:

 

Please, women are sexualised to the extreme. Take a look at practically any car advert or magazine cover. For a better and more obvious example, look up any fantasy game, then compare the man's armour to the woman's. Why the hell would we have half of our chest out, for god's sake, it's completely impractical.

I don't know, I think that too much sexualisaion can definitely be a bad thing, because people start seeing you as an object rather than a person. I don't want to turn this into a feminist rant, however, so - back to the original point.

I agree, the oversexualisation of anyone can be annoying, because it teaches boys to find half-naked women draped across the hood of a car attractive, and teaches girls to find sweat-drenched men with ten million abs attractive, which honestly just ends up confusing everyone. Particularly as any expectations given are usually totally unrealistic.

---------- Post added 10th May 2016 at 04:29 PM ----------

Yeah, probably... It just puts a confusing spin on it, because heteronormativity just tells you what you should find attractive. Therefore, some people end up thinking that they SHOULD find things attractive that they maybe don't?

---------- Post added 10th May 2016 at 04:36 PM ----------

*So many bi hugs*

Exactly! Bisexuals are sometimes excluded from the LGBTQ+ community because we are capable of being in straight relationships, however, these people do not seem to realise that being in a straight relationship doesn't make us straight. The other week, I had a gay guy on this very website trying to tell me that bisexuality was a social construct - if anything, the opposite is true - and likely not a legitimate sexuality, but yeah, we're soooo accepted. Ah well, people will be people. Some people are just factually incorrect, haha.

 

Precisely! And yeah, maybe, I'd have to ask a straight guy. I do think that it can explain why some people might feel attractions towards certain types of people but not want to date them. I'm not talking about aromantic people because that is of course a different thing, but yeah, hetetonormativity definitely dictates what we should and shouldn't find attractive in my opinion. Then again, I don't think that is something exclusive to heterosexuals, so I apologise for going somewhat off-topic!