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i had sex with my bestfriend and i thought both of us were straight

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by senor curioso, May 9, 2016.

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  1. senor curioso

    senor curioso
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    Location:
    new york
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hi everybody.
    i have to admit that i did know i was some what attracted to my same sex but i felt it was just curiosity just that, went i go out i dont check out guys i see girls i really like girls.
    i met this guy 8 months ago and we became very close, he became like a brother to me everything changed a week ag,o we got so drunk and like we were both wasted, what i remember i was in front of him and he asked me to suck his dick. and i did it without thinking twice i dont know what i did it , the point is i got so danm horny that i told him that we needed to go to his car since we were in my friends aparment, when we were there we did everything and he also put a condom on me and tried anal sex, is my mind is very blurry since i was so wasted it but i know it happen we stayed in his car until it got too cold and we went back to my friends apartment. in the morning i woke up thinking what the hell just happen and when i was going to talk to him, he had his dick out and asked me to suck his dick one more time i tried to resist but i did it again and this time sober. he sucked my dick too until i came and i got gross out and stop. then he left to work, he sent me a message asking me if i liked what happened and if i would do it one more time. i said maybe but then i said no that he was my bestfriend and im not going to do that kind stuff with him, and then i told him that we needed to talk, finally we agreed to not do it again and act like nothing happen, we are going to be roommated i dont know if is that a goo idea. he has a girlfriend and he cheaats on her all the time he has a bunch of girls i dont understand what is going on is he bisexual am i bisexual? he told me he is straight but staright guys dont suck dick and do anal sex. i really like him as a friend but i dont like that i am sexual attract to him he is like the only guy i have this issue with, i dont feel like im in love with him is just sexual. what should i do should i cut my friendship with him and forget about us being room mates? and move on and think this never happen? or should i try to stay friends with him ad act like nothing happen? please help!:tears:
     
    #1 senor curioso, May 9, 2016
  2. thinkreal93

    thinkreal93
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    I don't think either of you are gay or bisexual. It's possible but there's not sufficient information to conclude so. Sometimes straight guys experiment around and chances are more likely when they're drunk.
    It's only when you really desire being sexual with a guy that you should have to consider bisexuality. You said this friend is the only guy you feel sexual with. I would definitely not consider that substantial to be considered bisexual. Even gay men sometimes have this sexual attraction to a particular girl they fall in love with. Your friend said he's straight. Maybe you should take his word for it. Or ask him plainly if he desires men too.

    You should decide if being friends is worth it and your friendship is important for you. If he is important to you, then be open to him about your thoughts & feelings and work from there. It's far better than acting like it never happened.
     
    #2 thinkreal93, May 9, 2016
  3. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Re: had sex with my bestfriend we are both 24 and i thought we were straight

    Hm. It seems to me there are two issues here:

    a) Your orientation

    b) Being roommates with your friend

    Regarding your orientation - ultimately only you can decide what your orientation is - but from what you've said, you could be bisexual, possibly leaning more toward women. More specifically, you said that you became very close with your friend. So maybe it's a case of being bisexual for him or you requiring a close emotional connection with a guy before you would feel attraction for him.

    At the end of the day, I think the question is: Did you enjoy what happened? Is there a specific reason why you wouldn't want to do it again/more?

    Regarding being friends and roommates - While you may have both agreed to just 'forget it ever happened', that seems unlikely to work in the long term. Or even the medium term given that you indicate you are still feeling attraction to him. This in itself isn't a bad thing, but if you (you alone or both of you) are trying to figure this thing out, it might be better for you both to have the option of having space to figure it out in instead of being in such close proximity while you do so. So maybe hold off on being roommates for now, unless you can figure this out before moving in together.

    I don't think you should end your friendship. That seems rather a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

    I do recommend that you do work to come to terms with and accept this aspect of yourself rather than trying to suppress it or pretend it never happened. Based on what many many people have said about this kind of thing on EC, taking that course has a way of coming back to haunt you later - either in the form of fighting an ongoing emotional battle with yourself or feeling increasingly bothered or depressed as you hide or suppress a part of who you are, sometimes for years.

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
    #3 AKTodd, May 9, 2016
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