Asexuals??

Yeah, I had sex with a woman once, then much later, sex with a man, once. I derived little to no pleasure out of each experience, so I guess that makes me asexual. I cannot experience sexual pleasure with anyone but myself it seems. While I did orgasm with a man and not with a woman, I think that ultimately means little and I've learned that sex is so terribly overrated it's disgusting.

I find the idea of engaging in sex again to be rather repugnant and have little to no drive to do so. I don't like calling myself 'asexual,' as that refers to a type of reproduction, but whatever. I find very little in this world to be 'sexy' in a sexual sense and view sex as nothing more than the meaningless exchange of bodily fluids or a means to procreation.

 

I think that the act of having sex is disgusting. I've never done it, and don't plan on it.

NO Disrespect to anyone who enjoys it, it's just not for me.

 

I've had sex once and had a few heavy 2nd base experiences and honestly, it bored me. I like reading romance novels but the idea of being a part of a sexual experience makes me panic and immediately think, "no thank you!" I was more interested in tv than the guy going down on me. It may be because I'm trans and I was still in denial at that point but sex has just never been my thing. I'm attracted to men a little bit but i generally consider myself as asexual.

 

I am not asexual, but I am on the "ace spectrum" I suppose, being demisexual. As I am only 14, I haven't even been in a relationship yet.

 

See, it made me more anxious than bored. That could just be due to the household I grew up in, or some other factor weighing in but the entire time each time I was trying to enjoy myself and I couldn't stop thinking about what my Mother would think if she knew I was doing what I was doing, especially the time I was with a man. It left me feeling more ashamed than fulfilled and I've now walked the 'walk of shame' twice, once was longer than the other but I don't really intend to take that longest of walks again.

 

If it's making you anxious like that then it may be more due to what you're thinking or that you're worrying too much. I see a sexuality as more of a disinterest in sex or a repulsion of it, not necessarily a fear of sex like you seem to be describing.

 

Well, a big factor in my sexuality or sexualities or whatever it is I'm dealing with is fear, not fear of sex but fear of being judged by Mom. She thinks I'm still a virgin and I lost my virginity three years ago. I typically avoid sex though because of the anxiety it causes me because of what I just mentioned, I don't know if that anxiety has conditioned me into a sort of asexuality or if I genuinely haven't had any over-the-top "great" sex. That said, I did cum when I was with a man, after about ten minutes, but could not cum when I was with a woman after two and a half hours (which was, incidentally my first time ever having sex).

 

It seems to me that before you can determine your sexuality that you need to face this fear you seem to be having. I do believe that you have conditioned yourself into being asexual and it is completely fine to be asexual but I don't believe that you should be one out of fear. If your mom isn't too conservative or anti-LGBT, maybe you could start subtly bringing up the idea of sex and/or sexualities to her and see what she says because it seems like your fear of what she'd think is what is holding you back.
However, you are always welcome in the asexual group(*hug*) if you decide that is what makes you most comfortable. We can always use more people in our quest for domination.:badgrin:

 

I found out by seeing it online and I ended up googling it and found better definitions on AVEN and decided that it fit me more than pansexual did, considering I don't always experience sexual attraction.

 

It's not something I intend to discuss with my Mother, she's a... peculiar individual. She guilts me, shames me, and half of the time she doesn't even realize she's doing it. That said, I'm not particular comfortable touching people in general, I never have been. That can be applied to sex, as well, since sex is arguably the ultimate form of touching. Even if you removed my mother from the equation entirely-- well, that'd be difficult to do without completely unwinding the tapestry of my life, but even if you did, I'm not sure what you'd find. She's a very difficult person, and it's not out of any conservatism or religious reasons that she acts the way she does, it's just a matter of the insanity that runs in my family. Both sides suffer from it, but my mother's brand of crazy is particularly brutal.

What is sex to me? Like I said, the ultimately meaningless exchange of bodily fluids or a means to procreate. I see it as nothing more than this. Individually (masturbation) it's a form of release and has always left me feeling somewhat relieved of tension, but never, any more at least, do I feel the need to engage in it with another person and like I said, even the thought of doing so is repugnant to me-- man or woman. I feel like with my having had sex with a man and a woman I've sort of reached the pinnacle of sexuality and don't need to see any more because there isn't anything left for me to see. A lot of people have tried to tell me differently but I don't really see why. There's nothing more to it than orgasming, at least for me. I know there's that romantic element some people equate to it but I've only ever had romantic feelings for one person in my life (a woman) and with her things grew too complicated too fast. But even then, I didn't want to have sex with her, partially because I knew I could never give her what she needs and she could never give me what I want.

Her absence from my life has haunted me for a long time. But even if I could magically bring her into my life, I don't think our relationship would be sexual. I cannot satisfy a woman any more than I can satisfy an orange. I don't really want to satisfy another man and feel deeply ashamed of myself for ever having engaged in such behavior. I feel like it makes me less of a man, but living in this day and age being a man seems to mean less and less. But the woman I'm referring to, I still feel those longing pangs of love for her in my chest when I think about her and even as I write this but it makes me sad knowing I could never satisfy her the way she needs to be satisfied. Whether that's sexual or because of my position in life is up to the dice to decide but I think it's a little bit of both due to my largely asexual nature.

 

I feel you have hit it. Everything you just said I would consider as an asexual. Even though I have engaged in sexual acts and felt bored during them I am also slightly repulsed by the idea of sex and it seems you are as well. Sexual relations are not essential to a good relationship and I hope that you find someone who deserves your love an attention, sex or not.
I believe you to be asexual. I don't know if saying that helps you or not but that's my two cents.

 

I think I hit it a long time ago, but curiosity got the best of me and I engaged in acts I otherwise find repulsive. Maybe at one point I could have felt something with the right person but that point has passed and I'm no longer in the state of mind in which I could achieve a meaningful orgasm with another person, nor do I want to. That combined living with a mother who is so brutal in her methods of manipulation just made me hit it harder. And finally, losing the one girl I ever really loved made an indentation around the point where I hit it and solidified everything in bronze.

A gay person I once knew scoffed at the notion of asexuality and told me with a grimace that 'nobody wants to be alone.' That same person I believe to be the major and central point of the confusion in my life and if I could remove him from my life at all points I would. I've never had a supernatural experience, but this one gay person I knew, I'd equate him to my being possessed by an evil spirit. He tore apart my life from the inside out for no other reason than because he could and because he did that I won't so much as utter his name even out of his context any more.

Maybe one bad egg ruined the carton for me, but I believe that that person was as close to pure evil as I'll ever encounter. When I picture the Devil of any mythology, I see his face. When I think of demonic possession, I hear his name ringing in my head. It can't be helped and he planted a serious prejudice inside me, probably on purpose that made me feel the way about gay people that I feel these days. If anyone mentions the prospect of evil, anywhere, I spell his name out in my mind. In the humanist point of view, he's the problem, not part of any solution, existing solely to break the spirit of mankind. I may be alone in this thinking, and I don't like talking about him but sometimes I need to in order to contextualize what people perceive as my rage or my anger on here, it can all be traced back to that person.

 

I consider myself to be somewhere on the asexual-spectrum (maybe demisexual)
I've never done anything sexual with anyone & would be totally ok with it if I never do.
If on the rare chance I was ever in a relationship, what I'd really want is love - not sex...but I also see the option of sex as a 'never say never' with the right guy.

 

It's confusing at times, attempting to maneuver my way around the world because everyone else wants sex and assume you want too, resulting in various misunderstandings, insults and long explanations.

My friends were once admiring a picture of David Beckham and I only caught on that they were admiring his sexual appeal nearly five minutes into the discussion.
I sometimes forget people have sex.
Porn is boring.
I've never felt anything stronger than wanting to be friends with a person, which makes for extreme insecurity now that my friends are all finding partners of their own.
It's confusing to read a transition in fanfiction where one moment the characters are talking and the next moment they're having sex.
It's tiring when sex is such an integral part of people's lives and I'm just standing here like an outsider no understanding any of it. Asexual options are left out of surveys as general opinions and I can't contribute any helpful information simply because they're not available to me.
Flirting is such a foreign concept and I don't realize when people are flirting with me.
Sex is disgusting. No offense meant, but I don't understand how two people who love each other very much want to roll around in bed covered in way too much bodily fluid.

Some of these experiences may be mixed with my experiences as an aromantic, and as a socially awkward person, but mainly stem from my asexuality.

 

I can't tell whether or not I'm asexual. I've never had any desire to have sex with someone but I still find people physically attractive. Although sex doesn't repulse me I can't see myself ever being that intimate with someone, it makes me anxious as hell just thinking about it. My experience with whatever this is has been alright. I get the piss taken out of me by my mates for not having sex on the brain 24/7, they actually realised that I might be asexual before I even considered it. I don't know how you really find out yourself because other factors like physical and other kinds of attraction might mask it.