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Help! Am I Gay, Bisexual or what?!?!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by atomy, May 13, 2016.

  1. atomy

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    Hey everyone! I'm new here so hopefully I am doing this right! Recently, I've been starting to question my sexuality. In the past, I have only had crushes on girls, and I still do find girls attractive. However about 4 years back (I'm 16 now) I realised that I had a male foot fetish. This was the first time I questioned my sexuality. It's not strong, but it's there; like when I first meet a guy probably one of the first things I will look at is his shoes. However this only happens for guys, I don't find girls' feet attractive, and feet has been the only turn on I have for males. Well, that is before this year when me and this guy who is in a few of my classes at school started talking, and got along really well. I should probably mention at this point that I really only hang out with girls at school, (mainly because they were the only people I knew when we all started high school), and don't often talk to guys. So people are probably already under the impression that I am gay because stereotypes. However I don't identify myself as gay and still don't think that I am, however I am less certain now.
    So anyway, me and this guy get along really well, and I think, well I know, that I have developed a crush on him. And I honestly have no idea what to do now. This is the first time I have ever had a crush on a guy. I have no idea if he is gay, or bi, or straight. Sometimes I get hints that he likes me; he goes out of his way to talk to me, get in a group with me, we sometimes just stare into each other's eyes not saying a word, and one time when we were getting equipment (this is during science) he literally stood right behind me and leaned over me to get the stuff and pressed his body right on to mine (not gonna lie, it felt great haha). But then other times he doesn't even look at me when I walk past, even if he is alone. So I guess what my question is, is am I bisexual, gay, or am I straight and this is just a 'phase'?!?!? When I think about it, bisexual is probably the sexuality that 'calls' to me, but I would love to know what you think! Also, do you think that this guy likes me too? I feel like we have a great chemistry between us but idk. (Literally it took so much courage to just write this post haha sorry for the rant, I have never told anyone any of this). I am still into girls, but this guy is just amazing... Please let me know your thoughts!!
     
  2. idcidc

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    I think its safe to say you aren't straight.if you find both females and males more than attractive then theres a good possibility you are bisexual,you could be bi with more attraction to males or bi with more attraction to girls or somewhere in the middle. just don't rush things,no reason to panic.now about the guy I'd suggest bringing up any lgbt discussion,equality,or something like that and see how he responds,just play it safe because you never know what could happen
     
  3. thinkreal93

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    We all have parts of our sexuality that we lean on (much?) more than others. You know you're into girls and you know you have a weird fetish for men's feet. Do you know why you have this particular fetish? Like, why is it so appealing ?
    It is also normal to have crushes on both guys and girls, even though one may be just straight or just gay. There are, for example, situations where a gay man falls in love with a woman and he really likes engaging sexually with that woman. Likewise, when you develop a crush on someone (again, anyone) you will be open to connection with that person, even physically. It's not really an indicator of sexual orientation if this happens almost exclusively with just that person. Only when you sexually desire men in a general or wider sense, then you should consider a gay orientation.
    So it doesn't necessarily mean you're gay if you have this crush on your friend. Have you watched gay porn ? Are you into guys sexually ? That will tell you more reliably if you're gay or not.
    I think you should give yourself time, take it easy.

    I can't really tell whether he likes you sexually. But it does definitely seem like you both have a connection.
     
  4. Tomás1

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    You have to answer for yourself what flavor your sexuality is. Regarding your friend, I'd suggest experimenting with him, to get more information. The most direct way is with your body - like you described him leaning over you getting equipment.

    You could touch him when it's just you and him - put your hand on his shoulder, brush up against him, let your arm touch his arm - and see his reaction! See if he moves away, or not. See if he makes eye contact with you, when you're touching him. See if his eyes linger, say for 5 or 10 seconds, rather than a passing glance. All these thing would indicate he likes you, or feels comfortable with you.

    If he seems to like you, then next thing would be to get somewhere private with him - outside, in a car, etc... and have more body contact, kiss him, etc. These things may seem difficult - do what's comfortable for you. Talk about it with him. See what both u & him are comfortable with. Communicate your feelings - this is what being human is all about. Good luck & have fun!
     
  5. Christine

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    I would drop a few hints, and see his reaction, like a few lgbt references, and his reaction with a few *cough* innocent physical moves. If it's positive, then I'd ask indirectly, and still good, go for the direct question.
     
  6. Jsmith1996

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    Based on what you have posted, I would have to say that you are straight.
    There are plenty of people who are completely gay, but have had very pleasant sexual relations with females. So why can't vice-versa be happening with you?
    If he is the only male that makes you feel this way, then you are probably just straight and he is that one guy that changes you.
    There is this scale called the Kinsey scale. I would say you were a 1 on it.
    [​IMG]
    You are definitely either bi, but mostly like women, or you are straight, but this one guy makes you not so straight.
     
  7. atomy

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    Wow thanks so much for your thoughts everyone, I can't believe I didn't post this sooner! :icon_bigg Not sure how to reply to questions directly, but I have never actually watched porn of any kind before in my life as I have never really wanted to. However I used to watch some foot videos on youtube which I stopped doing over a year ago, as I always felt guilty for doing so afterwards. I guess I should've said this, but this year I have noticed myself starting to check out guys in other ways (such as looks) almost as much as girls. So I don't think that this guy that I like is the only exception to what could be an otherwise heterosexual me. Sorry if I have confused everyone, I'm just as confused myself! :confused: So I think this means that I am bisexual, but more attracted to girls rather than guys, right? As for this guy at school, next time I see him I guess I will just drop some hints and see how it goes from there, but I am in no hurry to rush things! Interestingly enough the other day I did let my arm touch his and left it there, and he didn't move his, but then again he might've thought nothing of it since the seats are pretty close together...
    Thanks everyone!
     
  8. thinkreal93

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    Yeah, I suppose so. You know you most.