Uh... Question...? When a straight guy has a "man crush" or a straight girl has a "girl crush"... what exactly does this mean? I hear it thrown around a bit and a guy I know (who has a girlfriend, guess is straight?) says that he has a "man crush" on one of his best friends. The best friend is a really good looking guy, long hair, sorta feminine, awesome personality, like, really attractive, so does he mean a genuine crush or like ... what? My bi brain doesn't understand this. Isn't a crush a crush? Is it just a way for straight people to imply "no homo" or something when it's actually a bit homo? :S
Pretty much, in a way it's like someone saying, "Hey I'm straight, but if I wasn't I totally date that person." A bit redundant if you ask me, but you can't label people yourself so as long as the person says they're straight will have to take their word for it until they say otherwise.
I've heard it used both ways - as a non-literal compliment, like "I think this person is so awesome that I'm borderline attracted to them, except not really", and also as a way of saying "I'm 99% straight but I'd honestly make an exception for this person". It's usually the former though. It bugs me mildly in a way I can't quite put my finger on. It's kind of like "Tee-hee, I'm so open-minded I can joke about being gay! No homo though!" As for this guy you know, he might just be acknowledging that he friend is hot, or he might actually have a crush on him and use this as a "safe" way to express it.
I normally define this as an intense admiration for someone, to the point that it is comparable to a crush.
Yeah I don't really think it is supposed to be sexual. It is more like extreme admiration, thinking they are really awesome, wanting to be around them, and maybe aspiring to be more like them or just find them very intriguing. I've had "man crushes" on guys who are not remotely attractive, even if I liked men.
This really sums up well how I feel about this. In general, though, I find that over the past 20 years it has become increasingly difficult to understand what *anyone* is really saying about *anything*. People more and more do not use language to communicate literal precise meanings, but rather vague emotional pictures...and most often, not even literally true vague emotional pictures, but vague emotional pictures of things they *want* to be true. As someone who thrives on (and is in a profession that requires) ultra-precise communication, this drives me nuts. So if someone claims to "have a man-crush", you can pretty much count on that meaning approximately nothing whatsoever. They could be saying it because they are attracted to men generally, because they are attracted to this person specifically, because they want to *see* themselves as being attracted to men generally, because they like the idea of being open-minded enough to mean such a thing, because they *are* open-minded enough to mean such a thing, or simply because it's an expression they heard once as a way of complimenting the person in question and they liked the way it sounded. Do not draw conclusions. Do not formulate meaningful hypotheses. Do not significantly alter your behavior around this person as a result of this statement.
Omg biannika, all that you said about the current state of communication is so true and so weirdly depressing. I hate the cliché exaggerations I see overused and yet I find myself using plenty... Some people though, get quite tiring to listen to when they are making broad dramatic statements for a whole conversation... Oh dear you have just opened my mind up to another societal fault to lament in our modern age. There are already so many.
A girl crush, to me, is a deep admiration that borders on a crush- akin to when you were in pre-school and liked the boy who hit you a lot. LOL.
I think that crushes that are outside one's sexual orientation are fairly normal. There's more to people than just gender, so it's very possible to get butterflies and crushing feels about someone who you're just not into sleeping with or dating. I think people like to acknowledge their feelings of excitement and affection towards people they won't be sleeping with, as well as the factors that make them someone they won't be sleeping with. Hence the combination of the gender (which makes them sexually incompatible) with the word crush.
*deep sigh* Well, there goes my hope that the UK might provide a refuge from such silliness. Still...agreed on every point. I'm looking for a place where words still are valued and therefore valuable.