long story short, i'm not sure whether i'm bisexual, straight, bi-curious or asexual. long story long... i've been watching mainly gay porn from quite a young age, so that was the first sign of my confusion. but even before that when i was like 6 or 7, me and other boys would go to the toilet and play "willy bum bum", where we'd touch our penises together, then on would put it on the others bum and then vice versa. so i've always had some sort of attraction to men. i identified as straight but from about 12 i secretly knew i that wasn't it. i'm kinda camp (it's lessened over the years), and to this day everyone always assumes i'm gay, which is understandable considering i loathe sports, love singing and only hang out with girls. but, when i started to really to question my sexuality i assumed i'd have sex with guys, but i'd never date them. and i wanted a full relationship with a women one day. keep in mind, i watched gay porn. a lot. and i'd fantasize about guys in my year, but never girls. so naturally i thought i was bi. on to the asexual bit, i'm 16 now, and as far as i was concerned i was always romantically attracted to girls. i could never see myself with another guy, until last year, i had my first big crush. on a guy. i was so confused but didn't tell anybody. he was always on my mind, and thinking about him made me so happy and calm. i'd had crushes on girls before but never like this. after that faded. i'd been confused. i told my trans friend (not just because he's trans but we're close and he spoke to me about when he was confused so he did the same for me) and he said i was bi curious. but lately, the thought of having sex, kissing doesn't appeal to me anymore.if i imagine any other guy getting head, it's a turn on, but with myself, i don't really like the thought of it. and the thought of relationships at the moment seem futile and pointless. i thought that was maybe because i'm friends with most of the girls at school, so i wouldn't want to date them, but i don't know. currently i'm just really quite confused. i'm a strong christian so i'd rather i didn't feel any of this, but that's life if you read down to here, thank you so much. it means a lot. any advice is helpful advice thanks
It seems to me like you're most probably gay. But I can't tell for sure. You said you're into gay porn. What about girls ? I mean, have you ever thought about female nudity ? Is it appealing to you ? Have you had a really appealing sexual interest in girls ? What about your recent feelings of not liking to be involved in head with a guy ? Since how long have you been feeling this way ? It seems like it's a phase to me. Maybe you feel so cuz you have a conflict with it ? Why exactly is that thought unlikeable for you ? You don't seem asexual. You said another guy getting head is a turn on, right ? Maybe you're not into sex & relationships right now cuz it's been bothering you for a while ? I doubt you're asexual.
I've gone through many of the same problems you have so I hope I can help in some way. If you feel that you wouldn't date a guy but might have sex with one, you might be only sexually attracted to guys. The opposite goes for women. If you see yourself dating a woman but not having sex you might just be romantically attracted to them. However, you saying that kissing doesn't appeal to you and you don't get turned on by the idea of getting head or having sex, you might be asexual. Personally, I want a relationship, with a guy preferably, but I do not feel comfortable at all with the idea of sex. I see porn or read romance novels and think, "that's good shit" but the idea of it happening to me.... no thanks and so I consider myself to be asexual. I say, if you're interested in sex or a relationship with either a man or a woman, you're bisexual. If you are not interested or repulsed by the idea of having sex with someone, you're asexual, regardless of if you want a romantic relationship. Romance and sex are not mutually exclusive. BUT.... you don't have to let a label define who you are. Date who you want without worrying about what that says about your sexuality. Try not to look too hard into it and fall in love with whoever you want. Trying to conform to a label may only cause you stress.
