I have no idea what I am. I am drawn to lesbians in real life, watching coming out videos, and feeling happy when I see them. Bisexuals have no effect on me. I had fascinations with boys when I was little. I think girls too. By preteens, I crushed exclusively on girls and said I crushed on boys to fit in. I go between thinking I'm bi and thinking I'm straight. Bisexuality doesn't feel right. I have attractions to women and men, but I don't often fantasize about women, though I like it when I do. I have attempted to seduce girls, but not often. I have more prominent feelings for men, but I don't want to date them, I don't like the idea somehow. I know that dreams don't mean much, but I have only ever dreamt of women in my life. In addition, it feels sexy to recall dreams of girls I know. I somehow don't want to be bisexual, and I don't know if I'm just biphobic or really monosexual. I have ASD and have never had any romantic experiences and few friendships, despite being seventeen. I really don't know... I don't know if I'm drawn to the queer community because I'm queer or because I'm a straight girl looking for attention. I'm unfair, too. If I see a boy I "like" and feel nothing, I assume I just don't feel it today. The same with a girl and I decide I've been straight all along. I'm sorry for not figuring it out yet, guys, but I haven't done any experimenting.
