It was really nice to see all the answers on my previous thread! Thanks to you all who commented Now I thought it would be nice to hear the opposite, what do you like about being In a relationship? What do you think is needed for a relationship? Do you need to work on it? And if so, in what ways? Personally, I would not want my relationship to feel like 'work'. I've seen so many people say this and I can't figure out if they mean it in a positive or a negative way. So that's what I'm trying to figure out via this thread hah
i think they mean make an effort not work my parents i know relationship went through hard times and they worked at it and now theyre happier than ever
It's not the being in the relationship that I like, but more like being surrounded by a constant best friend...I know that a LOT of people absolutely HATE neediness/clingy people, but I love it...I had literally 2 friends in my life for my whole childhood and was super lonely and bitter so having someone need me let's me vent all my repressed kindness on that person and I'll never get bored of them or think it's too much. I can be clingy too though, so I like it when I'm not a chore to that person; that we would just mesh so well that it's just like having another shadow; natural and non-intrusive. I think there are so many variations on what people want in relationships that it's hard to say what is needed for one...Personally for me I don't need fidelity (I would be open to an open relationship if I felt like my partner wasn't finished exploring him/herself in their sexuality). All I need is someone that's good to me, and who I can be good to. In my ideal relationship I don't think work should be a factor...this confuses me too sometimes when I see people talking about the work and strain of a relationship. As someone who has lived a pretty isolated life the exhilaration of having someone by my side and to be my friend seems more like an adventure...I dunno, I don't want to think of it as a chore.
It depends on how often you have to "work" in a relationship to make it work. If you slip up every once in a while and snap because of stress, or get frustrated because of pressure, then there's no point in ruining any relationship (romantic, platonic, familial, or sexual), and working to reach new accord is a good and healthy thing, in fact it'll probably be a rewarding relationship. Whereas if you're constantly fighting, if it's about small things or large, the relationship is draining more than its giving, and that's not one that I would want to keep up. What I would need in a relationship? Pick your favorite: trust, compassion, communication, respect, suitable boundaries, humor, a willingness to push the comfort zone. That's why good relationships take time, (at least, for me) because most of these things don't happen all at once.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say they don't want to be in a relationship because they will lose their freedom. Listen, if you feel any less free in a relationship, then you are sustaining a really unhealthy and controlling relationship. I have been with my partner for 5 years now, and I don't do anything differently than when I was single. I go out with friends when I want, I do the things that I enjoy, and it works for both of us One thing about this society is that is built essentially to be in a relationship. Things like taxes, affording vacations, houses, etc is easier in a marriage. Having a person that you can hang out with whenever you are bored without having to try and schedule something is nice. Any relationship that you have you have to work on. With your parents, there are certain expectations that you must follow in order to maintian the relationship. Same concept goes with friends. All relationships take work. A romantic relationship isn't any different. The main problem with most people is that they try to fit their relationship into what they think it "should" be instead of creating something that they are both comfortable with.
