Please help, I'm having a crisis! Warning this is long Basically I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and I honestly never understood why I wasn't attracted to him. He's a really handsome guy and we have everything in common - anime, horror movies, video games, we love all the same things and click on almost every level! But I've never felt the famous "spark". I don't get butterflies, that warm and happy sensation that you see in the movies. I don't enjoy kissing or being intimate with him in any way. Anytime we're kissing or anything my thoughts inevitably drift away so that I'm not really present. I just never thought anything of it before and thought that's how it was for everyone. Then I started to think I was just asexual as sex is something that's never interested me and I've never in my life felt the urge to do it with anyone - something that's caused major problems between me and my boyfriend. The thing is, I've had crushes on girls and guys, but like I said never thought to myself, "Wow, she's hot, I wanna have sex with her". The only times I've ever felt anything like that are when I've seen sexual girl-on-girl scenes in movies or on tv, but I'm not sure what that means :S Also, the main thing that's got me obsessing is I can't stop thinking about being with a girl. I keep imagining dating one, holding hands and walking through life with a girl and it makes me feel so happy and excited - like I've never felt with a guy. I don't know if I would enjoy being intimate with a girl because I've never tried it, but the thought of kissing one and being with one just won't leave my head. It's upsetting me because I have an amazing boyfriend who really gets me and I feel so incredibly guilty. I'm also terrified at the thought of breaking up with him because he means so much to me, and even though I may not be in love with him or attracted to him I don't want to lose him as he's all I've got. We've gone through so much, we have an apartment together, a dog... I wish so badly that I'd had these thoughts much sooner I've talked to him about all that I feel and he says he understands, but that even if we do break up and I decide I want to date a girl, he still wants to live with me and be in my life. But I don't know if that's the right choice. I just want to do the right thing by myself and for his sake, too. I'm just so confused, I don't know what I want or what to do. Please, please, please someone help If anyone can make any sense from all that I've written I'd really appreciate it, I'm stressing out so much over this I can barely eat. I'm a nervous wreck...
Hi..I feel the same toward the opposite sex. But I would say you could remain friends, and look for someone else, since you're not happy in this relationship. Good luck..
