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Advice for self-acceptance?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by skypeach, Jun 7, 2016.

  1. skypeach

    skypeach Guest

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    I'm going through a tough time of self-hatred. I've always felt weird and different for being gay and I definitely think it's impacted my self-esteem as a whole. Society has messed me up a lot as I've grown up. But idk I feel like rather than let any of it affect me back then I internalized all of it and now it's suddenly exploded (probably because I'm out to people close to me now so it seems more real and I'm facing it) but yeah ever since I came out a year ago I've suddenly started feeling like a freak and an alien. I constantly wonder why I was made to be a lesbian when clearly our bodies are made to procreate with the opposite sex, it makes me feel like I'm unnatural and "wrong" :\

    Does anybody have any advice on self-acceptance? It's really only me who is my biggest enemy, I'm the only one who has an issue with myself. When I came out to my mother she accepted me completely, she used to be homophobic but she's really open minded to everything now because of how much she loves me. My dad is super chill too! He loves everybody being themselves. Even my homophobic grandpa apparently knows I like girls and he's fine with it too. My brother is amazing about it. You'd think I'd be super happy, right? But I feel TERRIBLE. Every waking moment I'm reminded I'm different to half the population and my body is supposed to be used by a man to make a baby to keep this world populated, I'm reminded of how God, the person who created the world and all of us thinks who I am is a sin. How every single thing in this world is catered to straight people. I really wish I could change my mindset :icon_sad:
     
  2. Loppox

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    Hi skypeach, are you religious? or were you raised in a religious environment?

    I myself am not religious, so it is hard for me to talk about that aspect of being gay in terms of religion. I know, however, that a few people on here have great knowledge in this area. Have you read other threads that deal with the same problem? (on how religion is involved with sexuality)

    But I have to tell you I am in the same boat as you, super ashamed because of what we ''are supposed to''.

    What I tell myself Is that I am not ''supposed'' to do anything, but just be. Just because we can do something, does not mean we have to. I mean I can go on rock-climbing, I can do that, but do I want to? No.

    Now you may think that is something toootaally different from procreation, because procreation has a purpose and rock-climbing, well, has no purpose.

    But the thing is, and WARNING this may sound very disturbing/discomforting what I am going to say, the reason ''purpose'' exists is because of humans. We claim for what has purpose and what has not. Thus, we can make our own ''purpose''.

    It's why many people say that your sexuality does not determine your whole being, because you are more than that.

    It's really hard when people around you claim that the only purpose we are on this earth is for procreation and such (I was too, raised in such an environment) and you feel like you have to mate. It is the same for people who do not want to have children (not really the same of course). They too, have to deal with those judgements.

    What I am trying to say is, that just being here on this earth, is just it. There is not a reason, it just is. And it is your life, your body, and you decide what you want to do with it and what you like or brings comfort. You do not exist to devote your life to somebody else's needs (''you must procreate''). You exist for yourself.

    (sorry for this unreligious view on things)

    Have a nice day tho :slight_smile:
     
  3. Foxfeather

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    First of all,

    1) Only you can tell you who and what you were made for. You're Christian, I'm assuming? Well, God doesn't make mistakes. I personally am not Christian, but I've had a lot of exposure to Christians, and I know where you're coming from--but think of nuns. They're celibate and they're following God really closely. You're no more distant from God than they are. And, if God is out there, it's the little guys and the different ones who he/she loves best. Makes sense. God was always hanging out for the little guys. He told Jesus and Jesus told his people--you will be prosecuted. LGBT people are still prosecuted now. And the only way we can prove them wrong is by being our *fabulous* selves.

    2) You don't have to change your mindset--other people need to change theirs.

    3) SCREW populating this world. This world is overpopulated and society is a lil messed up. I don't want children and if you don't too (or do) it's your choice, not mine. A gayer world might not be a bad thing.