I have read the post about romantic attraction vs sexual attraction which turned out to be quite helpful. I know I am biromantic I grew up in a monogamous religious, exclusively heterosexual judgemental society. So by default, I always identify myself as heterosexual. With time, and as soon as I left my home to study abroad, in France, and as I ditched my religion, I became open-minded and tolerant. I don't really know whether I'm attracted to men for a couple of reasons: I have always been hardwired to hetero porn since age 10, I masturbate almost everyday. Lately, a bisexual friend gave me a sexual massage but it was difficult for me to keep the hard-on, although my penis wasn't totally flaccid. I'm not sure whether it's because I'm not attracted or just because I am used to a very different type of stimulation: handjob (masturbation). As soon as I would touch myself I would bring back the hard-on. I am not sexually attracted to him, nor emotionally really, it was just for fun. The thing is other than a couple nights at his place, I haven't had any other experiences because I'm really not good at seducing girls, also I'm a little shy and I have made too little first steps which were instantly rejected. I know the following facts about my actual self, although I am not sure whether they represent the real me or social influence: I am not attracted to men's bodies. With women, my style is quite selective (a bit because of porn I guess) I don't mind having sex with men, although I think it is better with women because of the "complementarity", you see, a penis and a vagina give more mutual pleasure than with an anus. And the last detail, and what was keeping me thinking of this, is that an old close friend who I really like has come out to me as gay (He hasn't had sex with girls yet, in our country they don't have sex until marriage, so he's still questioning whether he likes women or not) and we have had a couple video calls and every time all the platonic feelings I have for him are becoming romantic, and I have fantasized about kissing him and so.. We are supposed to meet this summer and we know we will go deeper, but I don't want to give him false promises or hurt him, so I want, if possible, to discover a little more my orientation. In sex, I really like passionate sex although my hand has to give me rough friction (mine is cut) in order to orgasm. I'm quite emotional overall. I hope I have given a detailed overview and would be glad to hear you guys, what do you think ? Thanks a lot !
I understand your situation. I myself haven't had any experience with girls, and that makes me wonder if I'm intobthem or not. You said you're hardwired to heterosexual porn. What exactly do you mean by that ? What is appealing to you about heterosexual porn ? Do you have a genuine sexual passion for women, or is it just the sexual aspect of the sexual situation with a woman that turns you on ? Another helpful thing to think about is that while you're masturbating, do you sometimes find it difficult to focus ? You said you're fantasizing about your gay friend. Have you ever fantasized about men in general ? Do you perceive a feeling that draws you towards the sexiness of a man ? If you're gay, you would typically feel euphoria & passion & fireworks while, say, watching gay porn. The key here is to be open to it and not let anxiety block you from understanding/experiencing it. Let me know what you think.
Hey, thanks for your reply ! Yea I do have sexual passion for women, and I guess it would be hard for me to make women friends for that. You see, either a woman -'s body- pleases me or she doesn't The question is whether I can be bi or not, having been avoiding the idea so far I don't enjoy watching gay porn although I am open to it. I don't fantasize about men's bodies, even the ideal muscular ones I guess this settles it, doesn't it
Yeah I think it does You're pretty much into girls and therefore straight , except right now you have that random interest in guys (which is pretty normal actually) , or just one guy in particular . Like a phase. It's just a phase for you. You'll mostly grow out of it easily.
