Hello new friends, In all honesty I am probably gay but just seriously in denial. But this is my story and the whole story so theres probably going to be a lot detail. I always had crushes on girls growing up. From the time I was 4(little kid crushes obviously). When I was 7 I discovered my first straight porno mag in my dads room, and god damn was it the most exciting thing I'd ever seen in my young 7 years. I never knew what sex really was. And until the time I was 9 i always used to sneak into my dads room to look at them, eventually taking them and keeping them in my room. The first time i ever fantasized of sex was when I was 10. Fast forward a few years. I moved but eventually i found them again and when i was 12 I successfully masturbated for the first time. and again god damn most exciting thing I had ever done. And from there I was hooked. I started masturbating daily well until currently. Then I got my first computer. I started to watch porn online. and never before did I ever look at the guys. I only ever looked at the girls. some where around the age of 13 I'm not sure what made me decide to do it i decided to experiment with sticking things up my ass. and when i masturbated it was amazing. But if i didnt masturbate it wasnt really pleasurable. when i was 14 i got a gf. we started doing the usual kissing, making out, so on and so forth, I was a typical horny teenager. However for some reason the kissing wasnt quite what i expected it to be, no as exciting but i liked going further all the time... then it all changed when I was 16. I for what ever reason wanted to watch gay porn. and jesus christ was it hot. The same time going on I developed depression and started going through some emotional and anexity problems which im un sure if are some of the reasons I'm either in denial or whatever. After that point and in the last 5 years I've felt myself becoming less and less attracted to females and more so to males. I've only dated girls up until now. I had a fairly active sex life. and I feel like somethings not quite clicking. I can get an errection no issue and i finish fairly easily. I have aneixty when i do have sex with girls (typical not feeling good enough). Anyway during some of the last few years I have engaged in sexual activities with guys. (No kissing) but HJ, Bj. Top Bottom. and in all honesty they never really did all that much for me. But fact is I still feel like im more attracted to guys then i am to girls and im just stuck becasue Im not sure what Im feeling anymroe
Hey man, What are you looking for? Casual hookups or something committed? Either way it seems like you have potential to be satisfied with either sex. You're probably a 4 or 5 on the kinsey scale. Life isn't black and white and the grey area is what makes it confusing. Often the answers are found when you stop looking for them. Chill out for a bit and focus your energy elsewhere. When someone awesome comes along just let it happen, regardless of their gender. Gay or straight long term relationships will all have a sexual decline over time. So if you are looking for a relationship, find someone who will be your best friend, but also who you would enjoy fucking. Open yourself to the possibility of either guy or girl and you will eventually know what feels right.
