I'm going through a difficult time feeling confident and my 100% true authentic self since discovering I was a lesbian. As a little girl, I only ever wanted to play with dolls and barbies and was always dressing up as a princess or a fairy etc. During the ages 10-15 I was very girly, (I went through a denial stage at 14-16). During my denial stage I found a boyfriend and I knew I didn't like him but I wanted to keep up the image of being a feminine straight girl, so I upped the notch and would wear long acrylic nails, overly promiscuous clothing... you get the jist. Then at 16, I realised okay I am gay, this is who I am and I have to deal with it. I changed myself completely. I got piercings everywhere, and started dressing more masculine but not overt masculine. E.g I love just wear jeans and boy t-shirts and hoodies etc. But lately I've began wondering, is this really me? Sometimes I see girls now and they're all dressed up and I think I'd love to wear that but I can't because this is how I am now and I'm gay. I know the way you express your self in clothing has nothing to do with your sexuality but for me I feel it does.. and I hate that. I hate that if I was overly girly, how I used to be, nobody would believe I was gay or even acknowledge that I could be. I'm confused as to who I am and how I want to present myself, have any of you experienced this?
yes, I experience a somewhat similar problem, but I am the complete opposite. When I was younger I played with cars and ran to the boy section when shopping for clothes. I hated skirts, I hated dresses and I loved just having to wear jeans and a simple, but sloppy t-shirt just like the boys. I continued when I entered middle school: flannels, plain t-shirts and sloppy trousers with a pair of sneakers. When I came to realize I could possibly be gay (around 16) I suddenly did not feel comfortable in my ''stereotypical gay clothes''. I am now looking at dresses, buying making, buying rings and other jewelery and want to try to become more feminine. Of course when I am at home I am not wearing dresses, etc. When I go out however, I want to look more and more girly. My plan was and still is to slowly convert to femininity I don't want to be perceived as a gay person, I realised. I don't know why, but I did not want to become the stereotype.. Now that I've realised I could possibly be gay I sometimes feel eyes burning at me when I am wearing my flannels in public and I don't want that. I have to say that I have always had long hair so I don't fill in the stereotype stereotype and I am grateful for that. All the other aspects however scream ''ur gay''. I don't even want to wear a cap anymore, while before I'd love to. But still I am left wondering as well, is all this girly stuff really me? (and I mean like overly girly stuff, I've grown to become a classy woman somewhat haha) Sometimes I do not even want to go out because of this. I don't know what to wear anymore, How will I be perceived?
There's a few similar topics like this floating around I believe. So no you're not alone. I'd say dress and express however makes you feel good and confident in yourself. If you want to dress more girly then do so. You might come off as more straight to others but that's all assumptions and stereotypes. You could also wear something representing your sexuality to help. Maybe try looking at different styles. You could find there's a middle ground between girly and more masculine. I personally switch it up depending on my mood or wear both feminine/masculine clothing at the same time.
