This post is about many things that happened to me yesterday. Sorry if turned out to be long as i'm just gonna type everything that comes to my mind . So i woke up yesterday and headed to the airport to pick up my older brother who came from NYC to see me . On our way to my place he mentioned the attack that happened in Orlando :tears: </3 I suddenly lost the control over my emotions , pulled over and started to cry while checking the news on my phone .I have no idea what did i say to my bro but he was worried about me as i was crying hysterically. Then he asked me " Louis , just tell me what's going on with you ? Are you .... you know i have no problem with LGBT people . " And he kept asking if i was gay , bi or whatever . I hesitated at first , but then i said " i don't know !" . I have no idea what did he understand from such an answer but he tried to calm me down and drove us to home . Even though i and him are so close to each other but i prayed the whole time that he won't start talking about my sexuality. And he didn't , till we went to bed and we started our night talk . I tried to change the subject and deny everything esp that i'm still questioning but in the end i tld him what was going on with me .And i don't know how he made me tell him everything , but i did ... i've even mentiomed kissing a friend . It has been months since i started trying to figure out myslef . And here comes my bro saying" when love come it just does . You don't have to label yourself now .Why does it matter? Whether you are attracted to men or women , i hope one day you will find the one for you." I only replied " okay , thank you ! " . So do labels matter ? And why ? In my opinion , it's not the label itself that matter . But somehow i feel lost and cofused not knowing who am i attracted to . I think i'd feel safer and more comfortable knowing myself better . The more time it takes me to realize who i am , the more depressed i become and this is why i've been feeling so upset in the past few months . Let me know what do you think .
Great brother you have. Labels can help you come to terms with yourself. See there are others who share the sams feelings as you. On the other hand labelling doesn't matter. When I was younger I just accepted "I like boys and girls" and it was ok with me. It doesn't matter if it's bi or pan. I'd say think about how you feel, describe it and then look for a label that describes it. Not the other way. Take your time. Cheers.
It's not an easy thing to do . I've been raised knowing that boys like girls and that's it . Being raised in the middle east by their traditions and culture plus the fact that i've spent most of my 24 years between my books , i've never had a girlfriend or any serious relationship and I've never paid attention to my sexual orientation ir romantic feelings . I've tried the kinsey test but it got me no where . I found out there are several forms and non showed the same result :/
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know who you are. Some people do fine without labels but some people would rather find one they are comfortable with. But I definitely agree with the above - take your time and pay attention to your own feelings.
I never used to think so. I always said that I just liked 'people' gender was never a deciding factor, but as I get older (almost 40) I have to admit I am now wondering if I NEED a label :/
I don't think it matters. But, I jump between bisexual and lesbian a lot. But, I haven't been sexual with a guy in years...and I like dating men, but I don't care for having sex with them. Anyway my point is... I don't think it matters. We grow and develop as humans. We are constantly figuring our self out. If someone pushes you and has a huge importance on labels. To me that shows a red flag this person is not open to the fact that labels can change and some people don't care for labels. Whoever they love they love. As long as whoever you date treats you with respects and you have a healthy relationship. There is open communication and both you and whoever you chose to date agree on how the relationship is structure. Your friends and family should be happy...they shouldn't care if you use a label or not. Happy your brother was so nice and sympathetic. You have a brother who probably cares for you and that is an amazing ally to have especially since the occurrence with the club. If it helps any, I was in a car with my mother when I found out and I wanted to cry heavily (it wasn't because of gay being killed but because humans lost there life.) But, I held it back. I bet you even straight men and woman were devastated and cried heavily over such an occurrence because it showed a human who couldn't see that these individuals are human as well.
For some people labels don't matter but some people want to label themselves as they can feel more comfortable with who they are. So if you want to say "I am _____" to get to know you better go ahead. Of course if you don't want to tell anybody yet, that's ok and take your time. The important thing here is that you are happy and you don't feel confused or lost.
It depends from person-to-person. I personally like using them as a way of knowing who I am but some people don't necessarily need them to help know who they are.
I'd say they do, in some cases. I find labels are very important in getting people to understand your identity, as well as finding a community of like-minded people for support. As in, everybody's experiences are definitely different, but for some people, there are overlapping regions. Like bisexuality. Different bisexuals are attracted to different people in a different way. They may be male or female or non-binary, some are more attracted to men than women, some have fetishes and some done, but they all have one thing in common and it's that they're attracted to two or more genders (did I get the definition right?) and therefore bisexual. So then you get a community of bisexuals, instead of individuals with differing experiences. The thing about labels is that when you put a name to something, it makes it all the more real and tangible. Like, before the label is made, everyone's going to be different and there's no community, nobody's going to know they have anything similar with anyone else and everyone's going to be lonely and wondering why they aren't all like someone else. Another example is the coining of the term "sexual harassment". Before that term existed, there were many different experiences of subtle and not-so-subtle persistent behaviours that were somewhat relate to sex and things. Except that no one knew what to call it. So you'd have women being sexually harrassed in the workplace except at that time it wasn't being called "sexually harassed" so the woman would just be "uncomfortable" and you couldn't fight it or speak out against it because there was "nothing" to speak out against. But then when the people made the term "sexual harassment", like, people who were getting sexually harrassed knew what to call what they were experiencing so then they could kind of put a stop to it, which was very empowering for people. Of course I'm definitely generalising the benefits of labels. There are definitely some downsides to labels (like generalising, lol, and stereotyping) and there definitely comes a point in time where labels do more harm than good but I think for the most part labels do help people. Maybe think of it more as a guideline than a criteria? I'm sorry this whole thing is so long.
