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I accidently posted this in the Welcome Lounge and now I feel like a fool

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Atrazine, Jun 17, 2016.

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  1. Atrazine

    Atrazine
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    so I'm going to post it here also? I need all the help I can get.

    I'm really freaking out about this like
    I'm so confused right now


    One of my best friends accidentally confessed to me (he didn't mean to it just sort of happened) and the only thing I felt was, like, confused? Sort of detached? It felt unreal at the time, and it's still kind of weird to think about it now.

    I've always been sort of sure that I'm straight, because even though I'd find girls attractive I didn't have any romantic feelings towards them.

    But after he confessed to me (he apologized right after) I got to thinking and, um, I don't think I've ever had romantic feelings towards anybody. Like, of course I've had crushes and stuff (when I was in middle school, because I took myself too seriously like all middle schoolers) but none of those crushes lasted longer than a week (most were gone in days.)

    I was talking to one of my straight friends and she asked me what my ideal relationship would be like (after I asked about hers). It turns out that my ideal relationship is basically just a friendship and maybe also hand-holding. I'm very not comfortable with anything further than cheek-kissing. There are days where even casual touching is sort of repulsive, I can be touchy and down for cuddling one day and then grossed out by any and all contact the next. (extra info just because: Hi I'm a junior in high school so I know that I'm probably too young for this sort of confusion??? Um, I've never dated anybody and have had a grand total of zero romantic experiences. Thankfully I have a lot of really cool friends so I have no desire for any sort of relationship right now. I just want to get things settled about my sexuality so I can stop feeling so lost and anxious.)

    So now I'm sort of freaked out. Am I asexual?? Aromantic?? I don't think I am?? I'm not adverse to having a relationship, I just don't really want one..? It's hard to explain and I really, really hope that I can figure it out soon

    whoops this is really long sorry
     
    #1 Atrazine, Jun 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2016
  2. seeking

    seeking
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    When I was a junior in highschool. I had no crushes...None at all.

    The guys I did like.. I only had a 'crush' on them because I wanted to be there friend. It was nothing more than wanting to be there friend.

    It is hard to tell if your emotions are wanting to be friends with someone or if you have a crush, at least in my opinion.

    I'm also a very flirtatious person...so I even flirt with people I have no interest in lol

    I wouldn't say I am 100% sure of my sexuality and I'm in my early 20's but I'm very positive that my attraction to women are so much strong than to men. I still consider myself bisexual leaning toward women. But for all I know as time goes by I may realize I am just gay/lesbian.

    I wouldn't think to heavily on it or freak out. The best way to figure out yourself is with time. You are a junior so that is like 11th grade in high school. I would say give it time.

    Focus on school, your future, and if you want to go to college.

    From my experience you don't know yourself as well as you do when you are in your early 20's. I think so heavily different than I do now. So I would tell anyone in high school to not try to put a label on their sexuality yet.. just give yourself time.

    You just might not be interested in dating at this point and that is why you are not as interested in guys as your peers are. My advice is just give it time and live your life.

    Trust me when you turn 21 you most likely will notice your way of thinking is so different from when you were 17. Entering the real world, working, going to college, etc. really makes you grow up fast.

    I'm not trying to say you don't know yourself. I'm just saying keep living your life and let time tell who you are as a person.
     
    #2 seeking, Jun 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2016
  3. Sohryuden

    Sohryuden
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    Don't dwell too much on it. As a junior in high school, relationships were never my priority. I just kept to myself more often than not and glared at everyone haha.

    In all seriousness though, just because you don't crave a relationship right now doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. And just because you don't really find yourself attracted to anyone doesn't mean you're asexual. Some people are just like that.

    What you want, WHO you want, will come later down the road. Maybe it will come to you from experience, or when you least expect it to. But it wil come. It's a natural process that takes a shorter amount of time in others, while it takes years and years for someone else.

    For now, just enjoy your high school life and friends. Don't look at your future and be so anxious. Live in the 'now' time.
     
    #3 Sohryuden, Jun 17, 2016
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