I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months back. I don't easily catch feelings or ever think it is love with anyone but I knew for sure I loved her. I never ended up telling her because it wasn't working out but I did truly love her and still do to this day. It wasn't working out because she wasn't in the right time in her life so it took a toll on me. We also aren't really sexually compatible...I wanted to over look it because I didn't think it was important but it was... I know it is best to move on but it feels wrong because I always have someone else in my mind. I feel tormented because we can't be together but yet I can't even move on because I still love her and I probably will for a long time...Should I wait to fall for someone else so they get her out of my mind? I have no idea what to do...anyone else been through this that can offer some insight?
My last serious relationship was about 2 years ago....and it was one of the ugliest break ups I ever had the pleasure of going through. We were opposites in almost every sense of the word. But even after the break up, I was very much aware that I still loved her. I think...what helped me to move on was to stop putting her on a pedestal. I'm not sure if you do this yourself, but after our relationship ended all I could think about were the good times we shared. I had painted this flawless portrait of her in my mind, when that was far from the case. You need to focus on WHY you ended, WHY you didn't work out in the first place. Sometimes all we can ever remember about someone is how perfect they were, to the point that we minimize the flaws coming from both sides, downplay it or just choose to ignore it altogether. Another thing, don't force yourself to move on because obviously it's going to take time to heal. You can't exactly just wait to fall in love again either. You can turn as many corners as you want and still probably won't run into "The One". What you need to do right now is focus on yourself. What do you like to do? Hobbies? Activities you truly enjoy? Focus on that. Breaks ups take time to get over. I know. As human beings, we're not going to just forget about it over night, especially if we genuinely loved and cared for the other person. Just take it day by day. You'll be fine.
i think there is no easy answer, but i would say eat lots of ice cream, listen to all the songs you can dwell in a shed a few tears. write down how i feel in a diary to kind of offload. focus on the things you love doing/the things maybe you had to compromise on in the relationship. exercise and spend time with friends. i think there will be always those heart pang moments but just of less frequency. andultimately i think time will be the healer (cliche as it sounds!). I don't know if any of the above or below will be of any use but I am in the getting over someone situation and these are what I'm in the process of doing. this thought made me feel slightly better (apologies if this is not your line of thinking) .... maybe she was your soul mate, for me a soul mate is someone that walks into your life and you have this special connection and your lives/selves our mutually changed by it, and then sometimes they are not meant to be in your life forever and walk out again. we have many soulmates, many people we can have this incredible connection with, in my situation it made me appreciate the moments we had together with a slight little less aching for them to come back...because of this faith that how that person impacted myself (and x's own life) was meant to be and how they weren't meant to stay. i also have the faith that i will meet another soul mate. Take care (&&&)
I've always been working on myself even before we dated. Before we dated I had the mentality that I loved to be single and she knew it too. I was always striving to work on myself and to this day I still do but I don't focus my time to say it as much. Yeah you are right, it will take some time. I guess I'm just really sick of the fact that I love her but it would not work out. I don't think a lot about her actually. I'm pretty good at focusing on what is happening in my life right now. I'm over the phase of mourning the relationship but I love her as a person and it kills me because it kind of hope me back in aspects of my life...I'm not sure if giving time to forget her is the best or worse thing to do... ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2016 at 05:20 AM ---------- Thank you for the insight. I think I'm over the mourning stage. The relationship didn't work out for a reason. I knew that was the case. Maybe she was a soulmate...your right about the last paragraph you wrote. That helped me, thanks!
I understand the feeling when you have to give up on someone. But trust me, time will heal everything
