Hi. I'm a young lesbian. I had 3 crushes in the past, all were girls. When I first found out I was gay, being with a girl sounded so wonderful, comfortable and right. But I've been worrying lately. I haven't felt attracted to anyone or felt the general desire for love in a long time. Romantic fantasies have become hard to visualize, and I even forgot what love feels like. First, I want to mention want might be causing this. The last crush I had took a while to get over, and while I think I'm over her now, I still think about her sometimes. Also, I have Depression issues, and I have been losing interest in more hobbies other than relationships, and lacking other emotions besides love. I just got done with a bad school year, and from the beginning I knew it was gonna be bad. It was at this time I started to notice I was lacking an interest in romantic activities, and that disinterest intensified throughout the year. I hardly got to know anyone until the end of the year. That brings me to the questions: is it normal for romantic desires to take a trip/fade off sometimes? Could I not be over that one girl yet? Could I be disinterested because of mental/emotional issues? The there's my biggest concern: did I just stop being gay? I pray to God not! I don't ever want to be with men, it repulses me! (No offense to the guys reading) my ideal relationship is with another girl, but I haven't been desiring it as strong lately. My preference for girls is something I never want to change or go away, it's too special to me. People tell me about lesbians/bisexuals who longer like women and ended up being straight. This scares me. What if I change like them? I don't want to change. Not ever. I've also noticed without having this special feeling for anyone, I've felt upset and abnormal. It's not normal to not have these desires for a long time. (It's been a year.) Could there actually be something wrong with me? Is it just the normal "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" kind of thing? Could I be in denial about something? Please help. :help:
100% normal. I don't hear you saying anything about liking men so It's pretty normal. I never have romantic feelings or crushes on women anymore- possibly due to depression/anti-depression and birth control (hormone reasons) killing my sex drive. I still identify as a lesbian because I like the IDEA of women, but right now no one really is anyone I fancy in particular.
It's absolutely normal. I can't really advise you much but it is definitely normal and has nothing to do with not being a lesbian.
It seems pretty normal to me. I'm bisexual but it's very rare for me to want sex or a relationship with anybody. In fact, I've only had two serious crushes in my entire life. I too have had depression issues - actually, I am clinically depressed - so I know full well how it can affect you, and yeah, losing interest in everyday things is one of the main effects of it. So no, you haven't stopped being a lesbian at all! The capability to experience sexual attraction (by which I mean, the desire that exists for everyone who isn't asexual) isn't explicity linked to a sexual or romantic drive, so having "blips", even if they last for literal years, is not abnormal. I hope you feel better in yourself soon!
Depression can make you lose interest in just about anything you care about. It doesn't mean you're sexual orientation has changed, is just means you're probably going through a rough time. Hang in there, things will get better.
You sound like a lesbian who has depression, and the depression is causing you to loose interest in life in general. I think you are still a lesbian, it's just that the depression is getting in the way of you being able to have strong feelings. I've had severe depression for most of my life (although I only realized it was depression until a few years ago). And it's only really been this past 6 months that I've been able to get my depression to go down the point where I'm able to have strong feelings again, things like crying. For the past several years before that I've felt pretty emotionally dead. Unable to find my hobbies enjoyable, to feel anything during emotional scenes in movies, and also lacked the ability to care about the people around me. It's only because my life is starting to turn around this year (I was finally able to start hormones, and my facial hair is almost entirely gone thanks to laser hair removal) that I've begun feeling better and started to have feelings again.
Im questioning my orientation but I can totally understand your situation. I just came out of a 4 year relationship here my SO moved on in an instant. I am glad that it is over (that is how I am feeling now) but even I have lost interest in everything and I don't feel attracted to anything in any shape or form. I cringe at kissing/romantic scenes in movies and have become very philosophical. Anyway, I am working on this by discovering myself and trying to get in touch with the pre-relationship person that I was, who was very ambitious and career oriented. So I think the best thing for you is to get in touch with yourself, take some timeout, indulge in activities that you enjoyed and use this time to discover something awesome about yourself; you will be surprised about things we get to know in these times about ourselves and others(learnt a lot about how shitty my SO was and I was an emotional blob, lol). And finally, whoever crushed your heart, will do so again and it's better looking for someone else than always being an pain. Lesson learnt for me
