Hello everyone! First off I would just like to say how thankful I am this site exists. I have been reading post after post and nothing has helped me more with my inner struggle than all of you sharing your thoughts with everyone. Anytime I feel like I am completely losing it I come on here and I can always find a post that relates to my thoughts. So I thank you all. This is my first time posting, and I'm sorry if it is way to long, but I have been thinking so much up to this point and I just need to get it out. Anyways, brief summary of my life right now: I am 24, male, living with a girl I've been dating for almost 3 years. She just moved in. I know that I was in love with her at one point if not still, so I'm pretty sure Im not gay. I mean, I get turned on by girls so Im not gay. Even when I say that out loud though or just to myself theres a part of me that kind of like resents it? I also know I am attracted to guys. Bisexual right? Ok well now that I gave you a VERY quick look at me right now, I am going to try my best to put my confusion and thoughts into words. It's not easy though, because I feel like I have no grasp on who I am at all. When I was a kid I crushed on girls and boys. I used to fantasize about some of the boys that would sleepover and stuff. When I was a freshmen in high school I went to Pride Fest for the first time and met an older gay man whom I befriended. He was a family friend so to speak so it wasn't creepy or anything. Anyways, long story short he was helping talk me through my sexuality and confusion and then conversation eventually ended with him telling me that the gay community doesn't really recognize bisexual as a real orientation. He told me that I am either one way or another. After that I felt like a fake; like a poser; like I needed to make a decision or else no one would take me seriously. Basically from that time on I focused on girls. I suppressed any homosexual feelings I had and I never told anyone about it. I still fantasized about boys though. So I think I'm pretty sure I am bisexual, but part of me still feels like if I accept that, then I am still in just some neutral zone where I'm just not "real"? or something? It's really hard to explain. I have so much more I want to talk about but I am realizing that If I put it all into one post it will be so long that no one will want to read it. I think I will just try to pace myself. Again, I am SO appreciative for everyone here and for giving your time to help a stranger. I hope someday when I figure myself out I will be able to help others too.
I think that as time progresses, bisexuality is becoming more and more accepted by the LGBTQ+ community (but seriously, what do they think the "B" stands for?), especially in comparison to, say, a decade ago when it wasn't really a recognised sexuality. Honestly, your friend telling you that definitely didn't help you at all. But it isn't weird that you feel attraction to both genders and it certainly doesn't make you a "poser"! Your sexual orientation is just as valid as a gay person's orientation, and it's really good that you've identified your own orientation even if you're not quite sure about it. Perhaps it would help to surround yourself with media - books, tv shows, whatever - where bisexuality is represented in a positive way? Doing that has certainly made it easier for me to call myself bi, because it normalises it and offers you characters that you can identify with. So hopefully, you'll be more able to accept it if you can see it represented in the media as a real and valid orientation. Hope this helps! Also, don't worry about bringing other topics in. You could always mention them in the comments, but if you'd rather not then make as many threads as you like.
I'm glad this site is helping you It's already a great step to be talking about this, and I'll try to help the best I can. It seems from reading your post that you're beginning to acknowledge your sexuality, and I'm happy for you that you're looking to accept that about yourself. It does seem quite likely that you're bisexual, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's quite unfair for your friend to have told you that bisexuality isn't a real orientation and that you have to be gay or straight - because that isn't true. Bisexuality is absolutely a valid orientation that's recognised; yes there will always be ignorant people who say it's not, but you don't have to listen to them. There are a lot of bisexual people on here too, and it's a very real sexual orientation. You don't have to be ashamed of it. Nor do you have to pick one way or another. There may be people who might not take you seriously but the good thing is that that is less common these days; bisexuality has existed for so, so long into history, and it continues to be more recognised these days. In short, bisexual people and bisexuality have existed long since before you and I were born. You can still very much love your girlfriend and be attracted to her, and still be bisexual, and there is nothing fake or wrong about that. They don't invalidate each other and you aren't fake or a poser. I understand it's hard to accept though, especially since it may seem like some kind of grey zone, and I understand the urge sometimes to just be "one way or another." But, being bisexual is still one way, it isn't a blurry middle ground between being straight and gay, it's just its own, valid, solid thing. It can be difficult to accept though, especially if you've been trying to suppress some things for a long time, or have been told things in the past that made you more ashamed of it. What I can encourage you to do is to get more involved in LGBT+ things if possible, even if just on EC, because you'll be able to meet and find bisexual people with their own stories and experiences. Plus, any environment where bisexuality is acknowledged and recognised, can be a good environment for you to, consciously or not, begin to accept yourself. Alongside that, you could search up good/healthy bisexual representation in media, or openly bi celebrities or people in history. In short, being more exposed to bisexual positivity can slowly help you accept yourself and feel more real. People might still throw around ignorance, but that doesn't invalidate you in any way. Bisexuality is a real thing, a positive, concrete thing, not just a hazy middle ground. Anyways, I won't rant on forever, I think you get my gist I wish you best of luck in your self discovery and acceptance. And if you ever need anything else you can of course post more threads on here. Cheers.
