Out of curiosity, has anyone on here ever made themselves like someone of the opposite sex and managed convinced themselves that their crush is real? Sometimes I feel like that's what my crushes on guys are: fiction. I pick a guy, create a story in my head and run with it, or I label my feelings of shyness and/or anxiety as a crush (even love once :icon_redf), or a guy is nice to me so I latch on... I'm not sure if I've explained myself properly. It's highly confusing to me.
I know what you mean. Before I knew I was gay, i forced crushes on boys. Whenever I had a love fantasy, I always imagined it with a boy only because it was what I was supposed to do. Once I knew I was gay however, I knew that's what I wanted much more.
I understand. It's the desire of wanting to want something or someone because it's what is "supposed" to happen. I'm guessing that's what is meant by heteronormativity?
Yes, and that's totally natural. Just think how many years you've been conditioned to think that's simply how things should be. But over time, as you get to know yourself and become more comfortable with your feelings and experiences, I think it will be easier to let go of things like that. There is nothing wrong with doing that. It's a natural response and it's okay to not always understand your feelings correctly. I'm still figuring out things a lot myself, but I would often be totally into guys --- but only after they showed interest in me. I'd pay a guy no mind, until he gave me attention, then I'd even flirt and feel like I liked them even. But then when they'd indicate they wanted to move forward, I'd freak out! It's different for everyone, and it's totally okay. Some people seem to be able to identify same-sex attraction early on, and that's great for them, but know that it's okay to not be that way. There are many people who take more time to figure things out through experience. There's no wrong way to do it!
