I've been questioning my sexuality and exploring my feelings toward sexuality in general lately. My counselor has me thinking about my past crushes. My most vivid one was on a girl I knew in high school. I remember all the warm feelings of a crush, but looking back I feel guilty thinking about someone in a romantic sense, especially without their consent. I'm currently struggling with a feeling of wrongness when it comes to thinking of people, of any gender, in a sexual way, like it's disrespectful somehow, or even in a romantic way, especially when they don't swing my way. Any thoughts/advice on this?
I suppose you could ask yourself: Would you feel disrespected if someone thought you were attractive? Personally I'd be flattered, but I wouldn't want them to ask me for my permission to fantasize about me. People generally keep those kinds of things to themselves. My point is, people have crushes all the time. They don't hurt anyone. Oh who am I kidding? They hurt a lot.
Your thoughts are your own, nobody can know what you're thinking. There's nothing wrong with a little fantasy, it's only human
We have celebrity crushes, friend crushes, all kinds of crushes that are essentially non-consensual. No one is asking permission of every person they get into. I think it's totally okay to have sexual thoughts and feelings about another person even if they don't know about it. If you're sexual, that's natural stuff. As long as we treat others with respect and as people when we're actually talking to them I think it's totally okay.
There's nothing wrong with crushing on someone! It's just cute! :3 And a little sexual fantasy, everyone does it, often even towards close friends. It's normal and okay. With "sexualize" I'm thinking more "yeah, look at that fine piece of a**, wouldn't mind tapping that,, heheheeheh", that kind of creepy stuff, which is not what you're doing here at all, it seems. You're just thinking of past crushes and fantasizing a little. Nothing wrong with that.
