I'll try to summarize this to make it short and detailed. I have been questioning for a while now, but I really couldn't figure out why (guessing close to a year). i am a 23 year old male and have always been attracted to girls and I still am so I guess that rules out me being completely gay even though I still worry about it. My problem is that I can't get any clarity and constantly worry if I am attracted to men. I've never felt turned on by a guy in real life and whenever I "check" them out it is always to try to determine if I'm attracted or not. I tried to test myself by looking at gay porn which I know isn't a great indicator and I don't enjoy watching it, but there has been a couple times that it has produced a reaction. I have also tried to masterbate thinking about guys, it seems difficult to pay attention to the thought of it and feels very uncomfortable although there was some amount of a reaction. I don't desire to be with any guys. I have never had fantasies about guys besides the ones that I have come up with to test my reaction or lack there off. I do enjoy straight porn and lesbian porn. It is easy and enjoyable to fantasize and masterbate about women and it's what I have always done. I become easily sexually aroused with women, although I do have some performance anxiety going on. It could be contributed to questioning or could not, I'm not really sure. I want to know if this sounds like genuine same sex attraction or if my anxiety and worrying is clouding my thinking. I know nobody can for sure tell me what my orientation is, but any input would be appreciated. Thank you
Thank you for your response. It's just confusing because of the amount of worry I have. I meant to add in the main post that I read somewhere it is you're most reliable thoughts when you are happy and in a good mood. I'm usually pretty sure I'm straight when I'm in a good mood and not overthinking it. It's when I start questioning and getting nervous and anxious about it that I question and can't come to an answer.
Hello, Like you said, nobody can tell you for sure what your orientation is. The best thing you can do is to take a deep breath and relax. Remember: There is no need to jump to a conclusion. This is about you and yourself, so take your time. Think about your attractions. Do you feel attracted to men? And women? Do you fantasize about men/women? How do you feel when you think about a man or a woman in a sexual way? And romantic? Remember, again: There is no need to be nervours or anxious. It is pretty normal, sure, but take a deep breath and relax. Regardless if you are straight or not, there is nothing wrong with your orientation, you are who you are. And remember: Porn isn't a great indicator of your sexuality. It is made to please, but it is really, really different of the real thing. So, focus on your thoughts, not in porn. And do it calmly, don't rush it!
^This. This exactly. Recently, I was going through something very similar to your situation, only backwards. I was pretty sure I was a lesbian, but I kept wondering if I was bi or maybe even straight because I wasn't sure how I felt about guys. I would always be "checking them out", trying to determine if there was anything there. For me, fantasizing helped a lot. I began to realize that only girls turn me on-- the thought of sex with a guy doesn't necessarily repulse me, but it definitely doesn't get me going, either. It sounds like that's about where you're at right now. I'd guess that you're probably straight, especially if you don't enjoy fantasizing about guys-- but I don't know you, so I can't say that for a fact. The only one who knows how you truly feel is... you. Take all the time you need to figure it out. Don't rush things. And always remember-- we're here for you (*hug*)
I am sexually and romantically attracted to women. I think there are attractive guys, but I don't really feel the attraction as in I wouldn't want to touch, kiss, have sex etc with them. Yet I still question myself. My fantasies about women turn me on and feel good. The fantasies that I create for men to test my attractions are uncomfortable and don't turn me on, although if I try to masterbate to them I can get some physical reaction. I can't see myself sexually or romantically involved with another guy. I still doubt myself though and constantly feel the need to check. Thanks for your response and any additional responses would be appreciated
Thanks for your response britishatheart, I just can't seem to keep any clarity. One moment I am clear on what I am and then I become confused again
