So I'm 30 and lived my whole life as a straight male but have always had gay fantasies. I've never dated a man but i have had sex with one once and really enjoyed it. I always masturbate to gay porn and I'd say the ratio of porn i watch is 80% gay and 20% straight. Lately I've really been into watching the porn that is supposed to "hypnotize" you and make you gay. I really enjoy masturbating to it. The only thing is that after I've finished masturbating to it, I don't feel gay urges anymore until I get horny again. When watching tv or walking around in public though i don't ever see other guys and think sexually about them. This is only when its "me time" lol. I don't know, I've told two people i can trust about my situation and they don't really know what to tell me either. I guess I'm just looking for advice on this whole situation please.
You could be just sexually attracted to guys, but romantically attracted to girls? Maybe you should try dating a man and see how you like it, you could be surprised and find your actually gay. I'd say just do whatever feels right to you and don't worry about the label.
^ What Christy said, but only if you want too. The thing is, porn is a really bad indicator of sexuality, and especially with guys, since a lot of guys (and some girls) have thoughts that are more "masturbatory" or "self-loving". I mean, I know straight women who'd NEVER be attracted to women irl, but love seeing women in porn. Idk what it is, but many people experience these thoughts when they look at people with similar anatomy jerking off or entering/being entered by other people... Idk, maybe I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I've just heard enough people talk about this and I've seen Science papers that make me think there might be something with the human brain that makes it function like this. Still, the best way for most people to stop questioning themselves is to experiment, both romantically AND physically, though people usually skip out on the former because they don't want to tell people they're "dating them as an experiment".
Yea I understand that. I fooled around with a guy a few months ago and I was nervous as all hell. We didn't really do too much. When I left I felt like it must have been just a phase or something cause I didn't really feel gay when I left. A few days later though I wanted to go back and try more. Well I came back to him another time but this time I was so nervous that we just hung out and watched movies. I told him I was sorry that I was so nervous and couldn't do anything and he understood.
Hi. First, it's normal to have no sexual urges after orgasm. That's a hardwired trait from our ancestral days; if we didn't have something to make us lose interest in sex, we'd never leave our caves and we'd starve. Second, the best suggestion I can give you is give up the porn for a month and masturbate to fantasy you create in your mind. Experiment and see where your mind is drawn. If you find yourself creating and imaging mostly fantasies about guys, or if the fantasies about guys are more exciting and arousing... then you have your answer, and you're likely gay or at the gay end of the spectrum. If you find fantasies you create about men and women to be equally arousing, then you're more likely closer to bi. The porn isn't an accurate indicator for a variety of reasons, but the fantasies you create will be. That should help to clarify.
thats the problem. my fantasies are like 50/50. some days i will think about guys and others i will think about girls. I've even had gay porn playing but masturbated to thoughts of women. It just doesn't make sense to me.
