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Not Taken Seriously...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BlondeRose91, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. BlondeRose91

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So a little about me... I am a 25 year old bisexual woman. I have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I have known that I am at least bisexual for a very long time and I have had plenty of experiences. Most of the time I do tend to feel that I lean more towards being a Biromantic Homosexual (Let's just say BRHS for short), however It's always tough to figure it out because I am a bit of a serial monogamist. I have never really been attracted to a man physically, simply emotionally. I love me boyfriend so much. He is my best friend and I couldn't imagine a life without him. However, he doesn't believe that I can be bisexual if I am in a monogamous relationship with him. We hardly ever bring up the topic. (TMI warning) The reason I believe I am BRHS is that whenever I am aroused or feeling sexual, I always think about women. I have a very difficult time even thinking of my boyfriend during sex. Usually I just get lost in the foreplay, but as soon as we start that main act I instantly think of a woman wearing a dildo. Asides from the sexual side of our relationship, everything is amazing! However, the only time that we exchange any sort of affection is in the bedroom. This is the longest I have been in a relationship with a man without wanting to dive off a cliff... I am worried because he doesn't believe my sexual orientation is correct simply because we are monogamous towards each other. I am also worried about how long this will last until I completely crave women. Typically I will just watch porn with women to take the edge off, but I truly do believe that I am a lesbian in a relationship with my best friend. I know many people would probably say I am bisexual or a fake. But the thing is that we don't have sex that often and when we do my mind automatically thinks of a woman fucking me (Especially since we don't talk or say anything during sex). I would really appreciate any advice. I am always very open with him about how I feel, but this is the one thing that we can't really discuss...
     
  2. PrettyinPunk

    Regular Member

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    I understand why you feel worried but the best advice I can give is to talk with your boyfriend. Bisexual (biromantic) is an attraction to both genders. If your only sexually attracted to women but romantically attracted to both, you can still obviously be bi. I'm sure you know this, but your boyfriend needs to understand that even if your with him in a monogamous relationship you're still bisexual. Personally I'd be quite offended, because it's an invalidation of your sexuality but that's me.

    I'm not sure about the sex part of your relationship, but again communication is key. If your boyfriend's not aware of how you feel during sex how can things get better? Whether you talk about it during, I think is dependent on the couple but at some point you guys should discuss what you like/want/fantasize in bed. If your open with each other you may be able to work on more satisfying sex. Its possible you may never be attracted to him quite in that way, but in your current situation it sounds like something needs to happen. Sorry I can't offer much more than that, hopefully it works out for you. :slight_smile:
     
  3. BlondeRose91

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    It does offend me and he has his opinions on everything LGBTQ... I love him as a best friend and it scares me because I am constantly confusing the best friend feelings with romantic feelings. I have had this intuition that I am a lesbian for at least ten years now...It sucks because I have so little doubt, that just the smallest inkling of doubt forces me to not do anything about it out of fear that my whole world is going to implode. This is the most stable relationship I have ever been in mainly because intimacy/romance isn't forced upon me. I would be so much easier if they could have a scanner or something to just tell me a definitive answer! lol