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Gay... But can experimenting change your sexual preference to whom your attracted to?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by TanMan, Jul 17, 2016.

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  1. TanMan

    TanMan
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    Hi everyone. I just have something that I need to ask to my fellow LGBT friends. I'm Gay! I've known since i was in the 7th grade. Growing up as a Christian, I've always tried to fight it because I knew it was wrong. Well now I'm 22 and I've been influenced by others than my parents/family. I have no problem with people being gay, but sometimes I wish I didn't suffer from being attracted to guys. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. I support gay marriage, and everything else associated with being gay. Why? Because like I said, I'm gay... Or bi... I don't know.

    I'm a Virgin, but I'm extremely attracted to guys. However, I've always dreamed of marrying a woman and having kids and a family of my own.

    Now my question: for any gay men who grew up being attracted to other guys, have you ever experimented with a girl? I can see myself with a man or woman because some women are so beautiful... I'm just more attracted to men.

    even though I'm gay, is it possible that I can find a woman to love for the rest of my life? I hope I'm making sense. I just don't know how to word what I'm asking.

    I know there isn't any thing known as a "phase," but I want to know if actually experimenting with both sexes (actually having sex, etc), can change how things are.
     
    #1 TanMan, Jul 17, 2016
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    Re: Gay... But can experimenting change your sexual preference to whom your attracted

    I think you're confusing what your mind wants (to fit in and be "normal" and have everyone approve, by being straight) with your hardwired biological orientation.

    Unless you're actually having sexual arousal and attraction toward women, you aren't bi or straight... you're gay. But a lot of people, as they are processing the loss of being straight, go through this. There are five stages we go through when processing loss: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance, and during bargaining, we often try to convince ourselves that we could still end up with an opposite-sex partner.

    People don't have gay "phases" (unless they're genuinely bisexual), and nothing, from experimenting, to various bogus "reparative therapies" changes sexual orientation. You are what you are, and you are perfect exactly that way. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Chip, Jul 17, 2016
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