So I've recently accepted that I'm attracted to women (not sure about guys), but when I picture myself dating girls, the idea of being the one to ask her out, or begin talking to her, or any of that is horrifying to the level of nausea. When I thought that I was straight, I was the same way with guys, and I blamed it on society and all that. But now that it's with girls and I'm a girl, so there really aren't expectations, I don't know why I feel this way or how to get around it.
It's okay. There are two kinds of lovers from what I've seen. Some people tend to be caretakers/pursuers, and want to let the person they love know they like them. Others like to wait for love to come their way, and enjoy being taken care of by the person they love. Some people are a little of both! It's totally fine.
I feel the same way too. When I was "straight" (or thought I was), I could be passive and that would be ok since the guys usually did the pursuing. Now I am stumped when it comes to initiating. Still trying to get around it.
I don't think pursuers are necessarily more apt to want to take care of someone, I think it has more to do with how extroverted and socially confident a person is. As an extrovert who likes approaching strangers in general and just plain likes talking to random people, I will pursue if I see someone I like. I love being pursued too and I am pretty sure everyone enjoys that. Personally I am looking for an equal relationship where both take equal care of each other. I could not be in a relationship with someone who needs me to take care of them, and would not enjoy the opposite either. It is part of what I like about being gay, a relationship between two women can be much more equal than one between a man and a woman. Edited to add: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be pursued and you can put yourself in places where it might happen. Just go to gay bars, make online profiles etc. so we can find you... :lol:
