Terminology

Does it matter? Really? It's not impossible for people to have their feelings change even in adult life. Therefore sometimes settling upon a definition is impossible. For example I grew up attracted to women romantically and sexually. I only ever got aroused by females up until around the age of 18 when I got slight curiosity about being submissive / desired and how erotic that can be. Even then I was still, to my own awareness and experience, 90% attracted to women and thought it was just a kink. I've found out I'm definitely not attracted to males, as I've tried gay sex, gay erotica and trying to discern or feel eroticism / romance in anyway from males since I was 20 but I do still have a kink for being submissive and have experimented with prostate stimulators and had some of the best orgasms of my life! I haven't actually had sex with T girls yet but I intend on hitting the clubs abit more soon, i've just been abit broke and they're always like £10 to get in.

So yeah, does anyone know if these types of feelings have a label? A predominantly Hetero man with kinks perhaps? It is quite funny being a giver to one sex and a taker to noone but Tgirls!

 

It's called being straight. You are only attracted to women (trans women are women just the same), and you like being submissive sometimes. Lots of straight men enjoy being submissive and lots of straight women enjoy topping, it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation or anything.

 

Hahaha it really is that simple I guess. In guy circles such occasional "sissyness" is quite frowned upon by some people because alot of guys are just close minded and male heterosexuality is viewed upon as being the more masculine the more potent, better etc etc - y'know what I mean? Funny thing is it actually depends what mood I'm in to indulge in passive orgasms, most of the time I feel very "straight" and just want to give give give...it is a strange thing having a penis...but one thing I did notice is that the prostate wen stimulated anally is one of the most rewarding things ever, just earthshaking orgasms

 

Yes, lesbians often suffer from men like that too. They think we are a challenge or just haven't met the right man yet, I have even been assaulted because I dared say "no" and apparently insulted his masculinity. I think men like that are probably just really insecure. You just do you and enjoy life, it's too short to worry about what others think!

 

Well said, sister *high five*

People's sexuality is ingrained into their identity and very being almost, it takes better and more insightful people to separate the intellect from the libido and not get offended as a human being because of their sexuality. I realise there is alot more to life than just sex. You're always gonna get people who wear their hearts on their sleeves in every walk of life. I've even had gay men get angry / upset when I've said I'm not into them - there is a stigma there which implies that, if you're alternative or deviant from the usual norm then you may be susceptible to being opened to their ways....it's a vicious game. I've actually had to learn to just not take people seriously and laugh at it because at first all this bitchy unspoken emotional assumption business really wound me up.

 

*Update for prying eyes getting the wrong idea*

Yes, I am aware this thread has had a lot of hits, even though I posted last July. Partly because my internet handle was used. What amuses me most is the reaction people have when a male chooses to explore, experiment and voice feelings, when people don't bat an eyelid if it's a girl. I guess the universals of masculine and feminine energy / anatomy are bound by their natural, evolutionary and stereotypical functions.

Another thing which exasperates me more than it amuses me is people's inherent need to box people up and label them. Possibly because of their own fear of the unknown and the lack of comprehension / misunderstanding that goes with it. The map is not the territory at the end of the day and whilst one can voice their own thoughts and feelings it's down to the individual to experience and relate. I'm completely aware of the cultural landscape in which I've expressed a rather delicate and private matter and all of the connotations that go with it. The difference being I see them for what they are - ridiculous and inhibiting if we're to be completely honest with ourselves. I'm in flux because with a man alot of his internal strength, confidence and self security ties in with the hetero libido and orientation and, to be honest, I do think I'm still pretty much heterosexual. I've just decided to be honest with some kinks. It may have been brought on as a result of loneliness, struggle or just general stress and dissatisfaction in my life but at least I'm honest about it.

I can honestly say I haven't felt submissive since around October last year, but I wouldn't say that I'm never going to ever again. You know what I mean? I'm goin to refrain from identifying as anything other than 'fluid' or 'open minded' until maybe I reach a point of complete hormonal regulation, lifestyle balance or whatever. I believe diet and lifestyle has a massive impact on hormones you see.

I was told by the EC staff that this thread will be kept up to help people, and I hope it does. I'm way past feeling abashed for being human.

Peace & Love, don't let the vultures and drama diggers get you down.

 

Just because you've experimented with some kinks it doesn't mean you're not straight. If anyone is going to be completely honest with all aspects of their sexuality you've got to explore that shit. A lot of men probably experience similar feelings but haven't got the balls to articulate it like you have - due to social pressures etc. Props to you!

Sounds to me like you're straight and just had the bravery to be honest with what has got you off sexually in the past. Anyone with sense will understand that it doesn't reflect your romantic and sexual orientation in the slighet. Especially considering you've only done it a few times. Anal stimulation is very healthy if done safely with good hygiene. A lot of people think this is a negative thing and reflects some kind of deviance, damage or cowardice - despite the fact men have G spots. It's just society and it's silly norms.

Hope this gives any dude reading this peace of mind.