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How can I stop doubting myself like this?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by DragonsInSpace, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. DragonsInSpace

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    I feel like I have made a lot of threads asking stuff like this (thoigh in reality I haven't :/), but it keeps bugging me.

    Why do i keep doubting myself when it comes to my sexuality? Like i know I’m attracted to women and I am not attracted to dudes. I wanna be in a relationship with a girl, i know that. Yet sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with a guy, even though I have never had feelings for a boy and would be uncomfortable in a relationship with one. Why do i do that??? How can i stop doubting myself like this? It doesnt even happen all the time, it just randomly comes into my head sometimes but it makes me doubt myself, which is dumb because I've known I'm gay for months now. :bang:
     
  2. Sayonara

    Sayonara Guest

    It could just be the simple curiousity. I'm curious about it too, I sometimes think about it and wonder "do you like it?" I liked thinking about bonding with dudes in terms of friendship, but once I tried to think of it romantically it didn't feel so great or appealing.

    It's ok to wonder what it would be like to be the other orientation- just curiousity, and wondering what it would be like to look from a different viewpoint. You don't mention liking guys so.
     
  3. DragonsInSpace

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    Yeah, I enjoy bonding with guys platonically but I'm not attracted to them and honestly I don't really "get" straight relationships. Like, something about them just seems odd to me and I dont want to actually be in one. I guess you're right, probably is just curiosity.
     
  4. Sayonara

    Sayonara Guest

    Haha same here! If you ever do feel worried you can always talk to me, I got similar doubt probs :V
     
  5. nightshift

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    I do this too.

    Honestly I think it's a potent combination of a few things. I don't know what your background is like, but I grew up in a pretty conservative family as far as gender roles and sex + sexuality were concerned. If you're bombarded with the idea that a man + woman = a fulfilled, legitimate couple from the time that you're a very young child, I think it's natural to have doubts and curiosities about where you fit in with it all when you go against that grain.

    I've known I was gay for years now, but I still do get that niggling thought, like, 'It couldn't be that bad, right? Being with a man. Lots of women do it.'. It sucks. I know who I am, but sometimes my upbringing makes me second (and triple and quadruple) guess myself.

    Feel free to message me if you're struggling.
     
  6. Nightdream

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    It sounds like just the normal curiosity. Even straight people feel things like that about the same sex. Nothing wrong with that.
     
  7. DragonsInSpace

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    Thanks :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 29th Jul 2016 at 11:53 PM ----------

    I had a similar upbringing so I wouldn't be surprised if that's a contributing factor at all. Heteronormativity sucks. Thanks though!
     
  8. hanrity

    hanrity Guest

    its curiosity just that I think