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Questioning Myself Questioning Myself

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LikelyHopeless, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. LikelyHopeless

    Regular Member

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    Hi everyone, thanks for checking this out.

    I hope its ok to post more personalised problems here, but after hunting around this is the best place I've found to get help with identity and self discovery.

    I've considered myself straight for my entire life up until a week ago, without any doubt or curiosity to speak of. I've had a girlfriend for almost two years now, but recently I've started to question what I really want out of life and romance. I'm starting to think I might be gay or bisexual, but there are lots of layers to my questioning, an example of which is as follows: I have been surrounded by straight people my entire life, with little exposure to any kind of LGBTQ goings on. Does this invalidate my new introspection as a phase of confusion? Probably not, but does it skew it to one side? I'm confused about how my own introspection is affecting my own introspection in a manner that makes it difficult for me to discern what I actually want for myself. Could it be that because of my sole exposure to heterosexuality that I unconsciously view anything different as a kind of deviance, and that I'm only feeling how I feel right now because of a small part of my human nature that pushes me towards deviance? Am I hesitant to rush into bisexuality or homosexuality because of fear of being wrong, or because there is the notion of fear of being wrong in the first place?

    This is getting a bit Freudian, so I'll try to distil it now. I'm beginning to think that i am gay or bi, but there are many psychological barriers that build on one another that are confusing me and deterring me from making a final decision. I have decided I do find men more attractive than women, and that I am more romantically attracted than sexually attracted, and I have that feeling that I know I will eventually find myself as bisexual or gay, but I'm currently on that rocky path of doubt and steady reassurance and could just use some other voices sharing their thoughts.

    To all of you reading, did you experience deeper levels of self doubt when coming to terms with your identity, such that I have laid out here? Things that seem to wind in on themselves and lead to hesitation and confusion rather than furthering self discovery? Did they resolve or do they persist, and should they be taken seriously or should I disregard them in favour of simpler problems, solutions and conclusions?

    Sorry this is so long and rambly, but like I said I'm in that stage where I know what the outcome will most likely be, but I just need a bit of advice and support to reassure me.

    Thanks for reading :slight_smile:
     
  2. mvp 447

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    Remember that according to the Kinsey test, most people are bisexual... but are you sexually attracted to men in general or just a certain part? The only part of a man I'm attracted to is oversized penis, nothing else. And that's not all the time, it's part of the time, maybe 30-40% but I accept the label of bi just so I don't have to lie or explain further.

    Can you literally visualize yourself in a relationship with a man?
    Are you attracted to the male face, physique etc?

    Even if so, that doesn't automatically make you gay. It's very tricky, sorry I can't be more help.
     
  3. LikelyHopeless

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    Thanks for your response,

    I'm attracted to men in general rather than for a specific feature, but I'm more romantically attracted than anything else. I'm starting to feel that I've never really been that attracted to women, or at least that any attraction I might have once had was superficial.

    Part of why I've started questioning myself is because I now would like a relationship with a man, which is a new feeling that I'm steadily getting used to. I'm not attracted to men purely because of physical form; it's hard to explain, but it's more about personality and mentality rather than physicality.

    Thanks again
     
  4. Sayonara

    Sayonara Guest

    That's what true love is. :slight_smile:
     
  5. LikelyHopeless

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    (*hug*)