1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Liking penis but not guys?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Dan Severn, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. Dan Severn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2016
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm 14 and I've known I'm gay (at least partly) for probably 2 years or so. I'm just confused about one thing, and it's that I am attracted to a penis, but not actual guys. When I say guys, I mean more the less sexual side like facial features and whether a guy's ugly, hot, or whatever. Almost all guys to me just look kind of ugly. Further down the road I certainly see that as a big problem if I actually want to date a guy. I also don't have much of any attraction to women. So am I not really gay? Or as I get older will I just start to guys more?

    Please help.

    Thanks
     
  2. mvp 447

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2015
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ok, this is kind of in my wheelhouse and it will be long. Wife will help edit/proofread too (she's effing great). Needless to say, I know I always liked girls but was very shy/nervous around them. My first experience of any kind was with one of my guy friends at about 13, I've always been an above average gentleman in terms of size, that's my turn on, and so was he. We had a few encounters. Physically, I liked it a lot but felt such guilt and shame I didn't know where to separate it. Fast forward, unlike you ostensibly, I had always been attracted to and had girl-friends. I passed on the opportunity to have sex with some girls a lot (which made me question myself further), lot of times but got blowjobs, kissed etc. It was enjoyable, very much so.

    I was mentally frozen for 4-6 years and passed up a lot of relationships as a result. I didn't truly know what I was. Then I met my wife, a one of a kind love, I always HATED the word soulmate but the moment I met her, I knew. I was still repressing my other feelings and eventually had to tell her and come out to her and myself as bi, she was AMAZING, simply amazing and completely understands. I'm not saying this will hold true for you but life is complicated and will take you in directions you never planned to go.

    If you're gay, IT'S OKAY. Don't let people threaten or intimidate you and don't you dare hurt yourself, you're better than that, you're a special person and everyone here who has gone through something similar really loves and feels for you.
     
    #2 mvp 447, Aug 3, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2016
  3. DemiLiHue

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2015
    Messages:
    299
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Chile
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, first of all, liking penis does not make you gay. It's like a sexual preference. Like if you like to I don't really know...
    If you don't feel that guys are "hot" and neither are girls then... Maybe you are asexual. Or demisexual. Be careful with your labeling. Back when I didn't knew I was a boy a girl started liking me. I liked her attention towards me so I convinced myself that I liked her. Saying that I didn't liked women because the ones I've seen where too ugly :eusa_doh: please don't try to label yourself to soon, try to just feel it. Don't rush
     
  4. Awkward Balloon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2012
    Messages:
    168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    It's possible you just haven't found the right guy yet! And I know annoying to hear but...

    I'm a very fussy person. With food, clothes, smells, and especially guys. I identify as gay, and I know that I definitely can and do find guys (parts other than the penis) attractive. But growing up, I never really liked that many of them. I didn't find them ugly, as you've said, but I never really had many crushes or got emotionally attached to them.

    But I've found that with each year that goes by, I'm starting to become less fussy and a lot more guys are becoming attractive. You just might not have encountered any guy - or girl - yet that you find attractive. And that's okay.

    I completely agree with what DemiLiHue above said relating to labelling yourself. Liking penis doesn't mean you're gay. It doesn't mean you're not straight either. There's no need to rush into putting a label on yourself because labels really mean nothing. They make it easier to explain to others some details about yourself, and it can provide a sense of comfort and even community, but at the end of the day a single word cannot define who you are.

    In my opinion you should just go with the flow. Keep your mind and heart open and see what the future brings. It's kind of frustrating being in a state of confusion and being told that you have to just wait and hopefully one day you'll figure it out, but the simple fact that you're on here questioning something like this means you're clearly open-minded and curious.
    Considering your post seems to be leaning towards the gayer side of life, maybe focus more on that for the moment. At the end of the day you're going to like who you like, and finding a label isn't going to affect that whatsoever!

    Good luck!
     
  5. almightyrat

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2016
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    idk maybe u like something up ur ass or uh since u have one i guess you know what it feels like so maybe it interests you???
     
  6. Goldensun

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2016
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just try and give it time. You sound pretty certain about your orientation and what you like about a guy. But you're also only at the start of learning about yourself as a sexual person and so give it time and enjoy this as much as you can.
     
  7. mvp 447

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2015
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Let's be honest, if you want to have sex with men half the time, you're not simply straight with a fetish. That's sort of the boat I fall in though I am only interested in the genitals, I prefer, long, large, straight white ones (ironically, the ones that look most like mine). I basically never wanna a kiss a guy, really never, I don't want to toss their salad etc.

    I also love my wife & and predominately attracted to women. I love eating my wife out, her flavor, most of the time, is my favorite taste on Earth. That being said, I still want to be with penises, I mean guys, sometimes. I dono 70-30 or whatever, but I've just settled on calling myself bi because it's easier to explain. My wife is my true soulmate. Now if she died, could I see myself looking for a man? Still no, I couldn't, except for what I'm doing now.

    I'm partially what's called bisexual but heteroromantic, I think. You may be in the same boat and this is very hard to explain to people but it's not that uncommon. You may also choose to call yourself straight with a caveat. It's very much debated right now, so just do what feels right.

    For me, it's also very frustrating because it really comes and goes randomly. It's the rollercoaster from hell, more or less.

    If you have questions on how I dealt with certain issues, just PM me. I'll be glad to help.
     
    #7 mvp 447, Aug 12, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016