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I don't know my orientation D:

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by AyaseKishimoto, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. AyaseKishimoto

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    Let's say, I've never knew my sexual orientation... Ignoring the fact that I'm a girl and I feel like one no matter in what scenario I am.

    I always had fantasies about meeting guys, most of those fantasies are romantic rather than just sex, they are like this "Oh I meet a guy on the anime festival, we flirt a little bit then we take hands and he end up kissing me".
    When I think on having sex and physical contact it's like "duh men are ugly, they have bad smell and a lot of hair in weird places". BUT when I fantasize about giving a blow job to a guy the whole situation change, because I feel so attracted to cocks :rolle:.

    The weird thing is that I don't find male features attractive, but on this time where I'm not out of the closet yet nor transitioning I would be much comfortable having sex with them.

    For the other hand girls are cute, I'm attracted to them on both sexual and romantic way, but It would be hard for me to be comfortable with other woman due to the fact that I have a penis.
    Everytime I think on me having a lesbian relationship the fantasy it's so intense, but when I'm aware of the fact that I don't have a vagina it's annoying.
    I would describe my orientation as being attracted mostly to girls rather than guys, but I don't know if I'm attracted to women on a sexual way or if I want to be like them.

    And I don't know how to analyze these feelings.
     
  2. SkyWinter

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    I have some very similar feelings. I think for me there are certainly guys who I find attractive, but they tend to be more androgynous. I'm not really turned on by hyper masculinity. To be fair I find hyper-femininity a little off putting too a lot of the times, though there are exceptions in both of these cases.

    I'm also not turned on by guys who are insane. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: No offense guys. So while fantasizing about "crazy" men sexually is safe, actually being with one either sexually or romantically is ill advised.

    As for conflicting feelings of sexual desire and envy, well, I'm not sure of that myself. I feel similar to you. I will find myself attracted to a woman, but also be envious of her body, or want to wear the kinds of clothes she wears or be as beautiful as she is. It's weird to have those thoughts happen at the same time and about the same person.

    I actually asked this question in the chit chat thread. I asked bio females who identify as lesbian if they are ever envious of other girls they find attractive and many of them said they are. Some of them feel the same attraction and desire to dress like the person they are attracted to.

    What does this mean? Well, I dunno :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Maybe you are attracted to women. Maybe to women and men. Maybe you prefer romantic relationships with only one type.

    What do you think?
     
  3. AyaseKishimoto

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    Haha that last "What do you think?" was like :eek:

    Well your post was a kind of revelation thing. As far as I know I like women so much on both sexual and romantic ways.
    And well for men it's exactly like you said, I think I like them only if they are feminine or androgynous. So maybe I like feminity? who knows.

    sometimes i'm worried cause I can't label my sexual orientation. that's a subject I have to think about.

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #3 AyaseKishimoto, Jul 30, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2016
  4. SkyWinter

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    Why do you feel a need to label your sexuality though? You are attracted to who you are attracted to. If you are attracted to women and more androgynous or feminine men, then that's okay.

    Right?
     
  5. Sayonara

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    You sound like you could be bi or pan.
     
  6. AyaseKishimoto

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    Yeah... On the last 5 months I knew why everyone says that sexual orientation is fluid, lol.
     
  7. Nightdream

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    Being trans can make feeling of wishing to be with the person get mixed up with the wish to be like the person. I believe you should pay attention to that. Maybe creating scenarios in which you date, have sex and have the body/clothes of the person could help. Don't worry about what you are, just explore your feelings a little more.