Hi so recently I realised that I felt attracted to my best friend (we are both girls) who I felt has liked me as more than a friend for a while now, but just recently I realised that I like her in that way too. This realisation made me notice that she isn't the first girl I've had feelings for, in the past I have had quite a few girl crushes however back then i chose not to bring my attention to it properly, and would instead push it to the back of my mind and hide it away and only focus on the guys I would have crushes on. I remember a couple of years ago I had a crush on a girl but I had no idea what it was I was feeling at the time, or i think i was too scared to acknowledge it. I think that I could definitely be bisexual because I am definitely attracted to guys and have had crushes on guys in the past, however I have never had a girlfriend at all and have never had a boyfriend more than a short amount of time, i broke off the relationship after a short amount of time because it didn't feel right. I was young when this happened so i didn't think i felt ready. I feel really confused because i just started realising these things a couple weeks ago and really need someone to talk to about this. I wanted to tell my close friend who i normally would tell everything but I'm scared, and i can't imagine telling my parents... I hate feeling so alone. I'm also worried that other people will think that i'm not being serious, or they won't take me seriously or understand it because i don't really understand yet either. I'm just confused.. Sorry for the realllyyyy long paragraph, i needed to get it all off my chest. I'm an 18 year old girl by the way (forgot to mention above).
First off, you aren't alone. Lot's of people are going through the same thing and experiencing the same feelings. Secondly, why do you think you feel so confused? Do you doubt your own attraction to other women? Do you doubt yourself because of what people might say? Do you really think that your friend you tell everything to wouldn't understand?
Yes I think what it is that I worry what people are going to say if I did decide to tell them, especially my family. I feel like my parents would dissaprove or not look at me the same way, especially my dad because he's quite old fashioned with his views.. My friend i think will understand because I've never heard her say anything bad about the lgbt community, i think i'd be able to speak to her about it.
So let's say you went to them to talk about this and said "Mom, Dad, I'm bisexual." Then they began to question you with "When did this happen?" and "What is causing this?" questions. What would you tell them? Would you tell them about the girls you are attracted to? What would their response be? If they didn't accept it how would you feel? Would you keep trying to talk to them about it?
I'd tell them that it is a part of who I am and it always has been I just didn't realise before. I'd also tell them about some of the girls I've feelings for when I was younger. I'd try and do this the best I can but if there reaction was negative and they didn't accept me I would definitely feel hurt and I wouldn't know what to do next or who to speak to. A negetive reaction from my parents would definitely lower my self confidence.
When you say "lower your self confidence" what do you mean? Obviously opening up to your parents about this issue and them not accepting you would be painful, but why would it lower your self confidence? Confidence in what?
