Hi everyone I travelled for a few days to another city recently and I matched with this guy that is really attractive. I am Brazilian and usually I like foreign guys more but this Brazilian guy really got me attracted to him. We started talking and he surprised me of how serious intended and sweet he is. He seems respectful and an honest person. Is he sounding perfect already? Great. We were getting intimate and we started sharing 18+ pictures lol (you can judge me if you want ;p) and then it happened... You should know that I am not a penis kinda person. I dont trade morality, respect, trust and integrity for veiny, big, thick dicks. And also I don't approve any kind of body shame. But his dick... made me lose my will to have sex with him. I am so sorry if now I sound shallow person, but I can't help it. I don't want to put it in any hole of my body. I obviously won't share the picture because I won't expose his intimacy. But I am afraid I am never gonna perform any sex with him. I may be sounding rough and shallow but that's why I am here. What do you suggest me to do to be out of this problem without hurting his feelings and make him ashamed of his body? >Should I tell him the truth of why we wont have sex? >Am I being immature? >Should I vanish from his life and let him believe I am a jerk when I actually care about him? >Should I friendzone him and stop the sweet talk? >Is this a deal breaker? What do you think about it? >What's life? So many questions... (Btw, Its my first post, yay! I got much more mature since I firstly accessed here, so now I am trying this account) Thanks everybody.
Hey, Tell him. That is the best option. If he really is Mr. Perfect then he will understand. Though it's better trying that and still have the chance to be with him than any of this other options. You found Mr. Perfect and want to let him go? And even would accept him to think of you as a jerk when obviously you're not? No. Just no, wrong way! If you love him then don't friendzone him. That never works out (for me). Talk to him. Maybe he has had a situation like that before and lost someone because of that. Give him the chance to show you that he can accept that and you two the chance to stay together and work something out. Make a compromise or just wait and give you time or don't go all the way from the very start. Sorry, I'm an asexual person so I can't fully understand what sex means in peoples' life but even though I really hope I could help you a bit. Xe
Hmm..so I'm a little confused, without going into graphic detail what is it exactly that bothers you about his err manhood? Is it a size thing? Shaped unusually, does it lean in one way too much? Does it appear unclean? I'm not trying to be cheeky I just don't get why if you like this guy so much it'd be a major deal breaker. I'm not a guy who likes guys but I've heard straight women go on (much to my displeasure) about the appearance and performance of the men they've hooked up with. Though some were not kind in their assessment it didn't stop them from having sex. I don't think I've ever heard of a woman who cared for a guy genuinely say they wouldn't sleep with him due to his genitalia. I'm not sure with women who like women but I think I remember reading a post once where this lesbian refused to have sex with anyone with an ugly vagina. Her response wasn't received well and in general so long as the person is clean I don't think it matters to most women. I might be wrong on this one, I don't know. I don't think your being immature or shallow necessarily. But you need to ask yourself why it's such a big deal. When it comes to being intimate with another you should feel attracted to all of them and comfortable with each other. So if you don't it kinda is a problem. I do think you should discuss the issue with him before you decide to friend zone him or have sex. I mean if he's a good person and you get along well, it seems a shame to not at least try. If you talk to him make sure you say it in the right way. It may be difficult without hurting his confidence, just try and be gentle about it.
I can totally relate! There's this guy I've met who I like and connect with emotionally, but something about him physically grosses me out a little and I know he's uncircumcised (I had a hunch, but found out first-hand, so to speak) and generally that just grosses me out! I feel so shallow thinking I have to let him down because of some extra skin, but the thought of doing things to him is really off-putting.
How about you guys go out for a date instead and get to know each other better? From what I understand, you think this guy is super attractive and you wouldn't give up your morals and values just for sexual purposes, correct? What if you didn't have to give up your morals and values and this guy deep down is a true genuine person?
Thanks for the replies. I didn't expect help that soon. I appreciate you guys suggesting to talk to him. I like to be open and transparent with people but I am bad with words and afraid to hurt them. I've told the truth to other guys before and I heard from them I was a jerk to not be 100% attracted to them (but that's not my problem, right?) I will try to explain why I am not attracted to him. It is not the size (I don't mind size), he is above average. It is not the color (He is some kind of medium brown, so I knew his dick wouldn't be different). It isn't much about the shape (the shape is ok, even if it leans a bit, which is not big deal at all). The thing is it doesn't look healthy. The penis head is... rugose (In trying my best to find the best adjective hahaha). It seems to have notable bumps close to the urethral channel. The heads color is a faded purple but it gets even more faded at the "bump" like a light clay brown. I don't think it has a crust on it. Let's suppose that he is absolutely healthy and that's just his penis, in my current state of mind I would not have oral sex with him. He told me he is a top because he have had bad bottom experiences that he got injured and then an infection. And the thoughts together is turning me off very much. I will do talk to him as we get more intimate. But for those who were questioning what could be wrong with his penis, there you go, I tried to describe him without body shaming If anyone else has an opinion, please share.
Yeah that puts things in a different light. If it's about health I understand the concern. I'd say continue on with talking it out. You could say what you typed here, that it's a health issue. Imo that's not even body shaming. If you talk it over and make it past the looks, I'd suggest him getting tested again and definitely take all safe sex measures. Its your body at risk as well.
Yes, that does change the situation. I would never recommend you to talk about not liking someone's body part for the sake of being honest. Body shaming can leave a deep scar more than you'd think on some people. However, if it's a health concern, then it is important to discuss it. You may also want to check online first if any of his condition matches certain STDS like herpes. When bringing it up, maybe you can talk about STDS and safe sex, and ask if he gets checked. If he says he's free of STDS, then maybe say that you've been wondering because you saw symptom-like features on his penis. Let him explain. On a side note, no one is perfect, and no need to pressure yourself or feel guilty for not liking something about someone. Especially in this case, I wouldn't call it superficial but a legitimate concern.
