So I'm a 16yr old female and i've never questioned my gender but i've been questioning my sexuality for a year or so. I like to read books with lgbt characters but i find the gay male plots more interesting (and real?) than any of the lesbian plots. Part of me thinks this is because i've kind of grown up thinking of being a lesbian as something very sexual and that they arent actually queer. When i watch a movie or something and two guys kiss i'll get butterflies in my stomach because i see it as what being queer actually is but when its two ladies it just seems weird to me. It bothers me how sexualized lesbians are to me because as a possibly queer female i should be identifying with them and interested in reading about them instead of gay guys. Does anyone else know what i'm talking about? How being a lesbian can become so sexualized that it doesnt seem like an actual sexuality anymore?
I know what you mean, a lot of it has to do with the sheer amount of straight guys in the media. They'll literally pay two straight girls to go at it and for some reason lots of straight guys are really into that. I don't know why, if they can't relate or anything. Pretty devoid of emotion, just there... Literally, if you were to go in Google images and look up "Sapphic" (Adjective for lesbian) you get a wall of porn. I mean, I was wanting pictures of cute couples. Won't be making that mistake again.
Most women I know of any sexuality seem to like reading about gay love between men. And a lot of het guys I know like lesbian stuff, especially the kind that's aimed more at the male gaze. When I was younger I didn't know women could be into women that way (I knew about guys, though) until I found some of my brother's porn. That almost always had a two woman pictorial. Which was a relief in one way (Oh, that's ME!) and problematic in another (I like the idea, not the presentation... it's still aimed at what men like). Eventually I found lesbian erotica made by lesbians for lesbians, and being erotica, of course it's sexualized. That's what it's for. But at the same time I've also found just comforting depictions of women in love with other women. There are a lot of manga like that written by queer women and I tend to relate to those relationships a lot more. It's not a matter of "look at us" like we're zoo animals (to use a colorful phrase I read recently about some nasty fake journalism that went down over gay athletes at the Olympics recently), it's a matter of "This is YOU." I feel even as a MtF trans woman that they represent me better and the way I fall in love apart from sexual depictions. Anyway, it's possible to find it. But whatever you like? That's great! You should enjoy it without fear of judgment.
First, fiction books generally do not portray real life. It seems obvious, but people forget this. They are written for a purpose and for a particular audience. Romantic stories about male couples are quite numerous and many (not all) are written by and for women. They will appeal to women of all orientations. Lesbians often enjoy them. Erotic fiction about female couples varies and there seems to be less of it, outside of porn. Some is erotica rather than romance, which can result in unrealistic portrayals of sex or sexuality. Some is written with a male audience in mind, and only a minority reflects "real" lesbians. The chances of finding an overly sexualized, unrealistic portrayal is quite high. Quite often in this culture, men are portrayed as people and women are portrayed as women. That means, for example, that men are shown in the full range of experiences and women are more likely to be shown in specific ways related to the fact that they are female. Fiction reflects this.
I can relate. I'm not a very sexual person myself and I hate to see how lesbians are portrayed in the media. It's very alienating.
I get exactly what you mean. I thought I was a lesbian for years (I am sure now which led to a lot of complicated stuff atm) but then I started watching stuff with lesbians in the media and it just showed it as them loving people watching and constantly pawing over girls without really caring who it was, and that confused me cos I was wondering 'if I get in a relationship with a girl would she be like that?' Guys are in charge of media, not giving out to guys I know a lot are nice and considerate, but most stuff like that is geared towards pervs or just to try to get regular guys excited. If women ruled the world I'd say gay guys would be portrayed the way lesbians are now, I think it's purely 'look at the dainty females getting uncontrollably frisky'
I get what you're saying. I think It's because a lot of media is controlled by straight men and they sexualize lesbians to a high degree. But also, keep in mind that romance stories aren't realistic either way. Even the straight ones are laughable and don't remind me of any straight person I know in real life.
Soooo many. Scroll down a bit for a list: https://dailydahlia.wordpress.com/quiltbag-compendium/ What do you like/want to read?
https://www.buzzfeed.com/eleanorbat...ly-has-to-read?utm_term=.of6WdRJlZ#.mmVjKL310 I have found most of the lgbt books i've read through buzzfeed articles like that one (sorry if you hate buzzfeed) or just searching on the internet. The last three books i've read have been Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, Aristole and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, and I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson. All three of those books feature teen lgbt guys and I really really REALLY enjoyed them all. Simon VS the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, The Miseducation of Cameron Post (lesbian) by Emily M. Danforth, and Will Grayson Will Grayson by David Levithan and John Green are all good lgbt books that I enjoyed reading. I hope you can find some books that you enjoy. ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2016 at 11:57 AM ---------- I hate that basically all queer female relationships in movies or the media are portrayed really sexually just for the interest of the male viewers. I think the reason why I'm more interested in lgbt male fiction is because its written as more realist and not overly sexual.
