So, I just made an account because I kind of wanted to talk to people who are in the same boat as me or have figured this stuff out already. I'll kind of explain over time how my feelings have changed and what not. This post might be long so my apologies in advance. I'll skip elementary school. That was just little crushes on guys and things like that. Pretty basic. So, now on to middle school. This is where things start to get interesting. In like 7th grade I had a huge obsession with Jennifer Lawrence. This was when the Hunger Games was really popular and before her big breakthrough. I was so obsessed with her; it was unhealthy. I started to think that was weird because everyone else at my age would obsess over Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth, not Jennifer. At least not like I did. I loved her personality and I loved watching interviews and stuff, but I wasn't sexually attracted to her. To add to the confusion, I had a crush on a boy in my social studies class, so I thought I was straight. It wasn't anything major, and certainly nothing compared to the girl crushes that I would later have. Looking back I'm thinking maybe it was just my mind subconsciously trying to compensate for the thought that I was gay, like I was scared of being gay or something. I haven't had a crush on a guy since, really. I guess I've had a small one but it's not worth talking about in further detail. Then came the crushes on girls in school. I crushed on 2 of my friends. I even had a dream that I kissed one of them and I liked it. I thought about the fact of kissing my other friend, and I guess I wasn't completely opposed to it. She's not the prettiest so maybe that was a factor of me not being fully comfortable with the idea, or just being new to the whole idea that I could like girls. I guess this started in 8th grade. I thought it was just normal girl crushes and nothing more for awhile, but then I was more open to the idea of "hey, I'm not straight." I had romantic feelings towards girls. I guess I fully accepted this fact in like 9th grade. I continued to fall hard and fast for girls at school. I KNEW this was weird. I knew I was different from the majority. That's when I decided I was bisexual. I've been getting accustomed to the new label and all, feeling more comfortable about it. I'm obviously very accepting of the LGBT+ community, but it was just an adjustment period to think I am actually part of that community, you know? I felt more romantic attraction towards girls and more physical attraction towards guys. Now onto more recent stuff, so like 2016. I love this band called PVRIS and the lead singer is gay. Of course I'm hard core crushing on her. I have a fan account and everything for this band, and let me tell you, I'd say 99% of the fanbase is gay. I think it's a great environment because I can feel comfortable in my own skin. I then started to feel more physical attraction towards girls and embrace it. But then I started to think, what if I'm gay and not bi? I don't really crush on guys. But then I thought, maybe being on that account all the time and exposed to so many girls and stuff has made me think like that. The other side of me argues that your environment can't make you gay; it's something within you. Maybe your environment can bring it out of you and make you feel more accepting of yourself, but it was always there. The environment didn't make you a certain sexuality. Now I'm here, having feelings that I could be gay and not bi like I originally thought. After writing this, the signs do point to me being gay. However, I feel like I'm not ready to commit to that label yet. Maybe it's just like when I was coming to terms with the idea of me being bi. Maybe I'm just in that adjustment period. I don't know. I'm just confused and felt like ranting a bit about my situation because I feel like there's no one I can really turn to. I don't really like labels, but they are useful when talking to people in casual conversation. I don't want to be like "oh yeah I'm lesbian but bi-curious" or whatever, and have to explain my whole sexuality. I also just kind of want to know for my own sake. I'm just really confused. I know it seems simple- it's just what you feel. I guess I don't really know what I feel. Well, thanks for taking the time to read this. It's really very appreciated. Basically I'm just confused and am eager to figure myself out so I can finally accept myself and eventually come out- and have it be correct.
First off, congratulations. As for your sexuality, you're a teen and are still developing. I myself didn't fully realize I was gay-bi until I was 19. I don't want to tell you who you are but you're most likely a lesbian. And that's great. Be who you are. Love who you love. You sound like you've accepted yourself. That's huge! I wish nothing but the best for you.
Heya! And welcome to the EC I think it's really neat that you seem to be quite comfortable with your attraction to girls when you're still quite young. For me, the questioning started about your age and like you I initially thought I was bisexual. I kept these thoughts so close to my chest and in a sense ran from these feelings until quite recently, when I started to realise I might actually be gay. There seems to be a lot of people who struggle with whether they are gay or bisexual, particularly as some people feel like they are Kinsey 5's, or 4's (have you heard of the Kinsey scale? If not I would recommend looking it up), which can be a little harder to find a label that feels right. I think the main thing to remember is you don't have to rush yourself (which I know sometimes is easier said than done - I know for me I just want to hurry up and find the right label so I can come out both to myself and everyone else.) Time and a lot of thought have been key for me, and I think I've gotten to a point where I am getting comfortable with the label 'mostly gay' or 'Kinsey 5', for now at least - though I do have a suspicion I might just be gay. But it's taken me six years since high school to get to this point! As TyIsToasty says, you are still in your teens and you have a lot of time to figure things out if you need it. Ask as many questions as you need to in these forums - you'll find a lot of help here! I suppose my advice to you is to really think about how you feel about guys; it's apparent you like women, but that your feelings about men might be a little hazy (?) I experienced/am experiencing the same thing myself with trying to work out my sexuality, and I've found that comparing how I feel about women with how I feel about men has been a big help; picturing what a future, a date, and being intimate etc. would be probably feel like with each gender. I hope you manage to find some clarity here and I wish you all the best! x ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2016 at 11:18 AM ---------- P.S: Just so you are aware, labels can sometimes be quite limiting as they may not be able to fully describe ourselves or our feelings. There are many, many people who sit somewhere between bisexual and gay who don't feel comfortable with either label. I know how much we can pressure ourselves into feeling like we have to define ourselves as this or that, but in reality things can be a little less black and white than we thought. If you end up realising that neither bisexual nor gay defines you properly, than this is totally a-okay! You wouldn't be alone And it's the same if you find that you do feel entirely comfortable with bisexual or gay - this is totally a-okay too! Everything's a-okay, as long as it's comfortable for you x
Pressure to pick a label isn't healthy, folks. Figure out how you really feel, that's it. Then go from there.
Thanks to you, I am now binge watching PVRIS music videos to see if I like them lol. And, of gosh, you are so lucky that you are 16 and already thinking about your sexuality. I didn't really started questioning until I was 20 about to be 21 and now I am 22 and I am still questioning. I guess it all started when I asked myself who I can see myself in the future with and I didn't really answer it right away. Honestly, I don't know if I ever see myself telling a guy that I love them but can kind of see myself telling that to a girl. Honestly, I don't have any experience with either gender and I don't mind seeing where it can go with both. And I hope that you will take your time at finding out what you are and that you are happy with it! Just don't worry about labels though, that would drive you crazy like it did me. Just take your time.
Thank you guys for all of your responses! It seems like a lot of you guys pointed out that I'm young to be questioning my sexuality. I didn't realize that! I thought I was behind honestly. Anyway, I guess you guys are right about not wanting to rush things. It's just more for myself, but I'm learning that sexuality is fluid and not everything should be black and white. Also, I have heard of the Kinsey scale but I've gotten various results on tests about it. ---------- Post added 20th Aug 2016 at 01:44 PM ---------- I love it! If you end up becoming obsessed with PVRIS, welcome to the dark side :welcome: I've done my job. Also I'm the same way. I'm definitely more emotionally attracted to girls.
