1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Heteroromantic homosexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Frdhj256, Aug 16, 2016.

  1. Frdhj256

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So I'm heteroromantic homosexual-I think. You see ever since I was a little kid ( around 3-4 years old) I've low key aknowledged this weird thing about me in my head. I would get butterflies for boys and dream about them for hours where as whenever I was horny I started thinking about girls or it was due to girls. The thing is I don't know for sure if what I'm feeling for boys is romantic love because everyone has a different definition for it. Also I'm saddened that this might be my orientation because it will make it hard for me to date. If I ever date or get someone that likes me in the near future how should I tell them about this. Right now I just tell everyone I'm bi but if I ever get a boyfriend ( or girlfriend) I need to know what to do. Also if I was willing to have sex with my boyfriend would I still get one? Are my feelings legitimate? Also I've considered dating girls but i feel like mostly just feels like friendship + sex and I feel like I'd mostly get horny for them. Like in romantic movies my eyes are mostly on the guy even in intense make out sessions where they take of their shirts however I don't get horny I just get this really euphoric feeling I don't know how to describe it. Girls are fucking sexy though and whenever I watch porn almost always go for lesbian. Please forgive my writing.
     
  2. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It started off as a sexual attraction for me, then not long after I came out, those feelings started to appear. You seem very confused, and that's alright. It might make it more challenging to find someone, or it might not. You might meet someone just as cliche as bumping into a person and looking deeply into their eyes and getting lost in the moment.

    I'm just saying, you never know.

    Figuring out who you are takes lots of time. Only two years have past since I came out, but a lot has changed.
     
  3. Frdhj256

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    thank you for your reply!! I really appreciate your thoughts and hopefully that stuff will happen to me!
     
  4. CamN15

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2016
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sorry, I know it's been a little while since you posted, but I wanted to reply because this really caught my attention.
    I felt similar to this for a while. When I was 14/15 I really loved a girl, but then since that point I'd only had romantic feelings toward men, but physically was attracted to girls. I thought for ages that the one time I had loved a girl had been a fluke, and I was quite worried about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend and how it would be explained to them. I had a long-term boyfriend I loved dearly, but I was not attracted to him physically and haven't been to any men.
    But for me at least I think a lot of this was because I was scared of my attraction to women. I'm not suggesting it's at all the case for you, but once I started accepting it and coming out I suddenly started to get romantic tingles with women I met. I think because I changed the way I looked at the world - I was letting myself open up to romance with women.
    Now I am very happy with being attracted to women physically and emotionally. Sometimes a man will still come along who piques my romantic interest, but the intensity is definitely fading. For me, at least, it was a matter of allowing myself to wipe the ingrained notions I had of what love is 'supposed' to be.
    So to summarise, for me, I could classify my teenage years as mostly heteroromantic homosexual, which faded to biromantic homosexual and is now homosexual. I'm open to it changing again in the future though, and I'm not suggesting it will be at all the same for you. Just thought it would be worth sharing thoughts on how it panned out for me, because I know that when I was at a similar stage you're at I found it very difficult.
     
  5. Frdhj256

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    oh my goodness thank you! I really appreciate what you have to say and as I keep opening up hopefully I will get the chance to be with a women and see what happens because honestly the way it is right now is frustrating. I am so happy you posted this. you made me recognize that this could be something n the back of my head and I have to stay open!

    ---------- Post added 29th Aug 2016 at 01:33 PM ----------

    ^ by the way that post is a reply to camn15 just in case I didn't reply properly due to my noobness
     
  6. CamN15

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2016
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    I really hope everything works out well for you and that you enjoy opening up to all sorts of possibilities :slight_smile:
     
  7. Dryad

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2013
    Messages:
    772
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    From what you're saying I assume you're young, and still figuring things out. You could be anything, straight, bisexual or lesbian... Lesbian, for the very good reasons mentioned by the people above. Bisexual, because often a sexual interest leads to a romantic as well, and vice versa, so as you explore love and sex, you might find out that you're capable of romantically loving women and sexually fancying men. Straight, because many straight women fantasize about lesbian sex but also enjoy straight sex. I know it's frustrating because I've been in this position of not knowing what you like, but you'll find the answers more easily if you just relax, let yourslf do what you feel like doing, and enjoy the trip. :grin: