Hello, This has been bugging me for a while now, and I thought that perhaps sharing on here and hearing others opinions and experiences might help me out. For quite a while, I've had trouble figuring out exactly where I fit in the sexuality department. Labels aren't normally important to me, but I feel as though getting an answer, or even a good hint, to where I fall would give me some piece of mind. I'll start by saying that I am 22 years old and have not been in a relationship or had sex. Although I am curious about both relationships and sex (would like to know how they feel and experience them at some point) I don't exactly have a burning desire to partake in either. This led me to believe that I am asexual, and I was actually pretty comfortable with that, as I rarely feel sexual attraction to any gender. However I still masturbate, and do have sexual fantasies frequently. For a while I tried convincing myself that I'm straight, however in many of my fantasies I am with a woman. Then again, I know that there are traits in both men and women that I find attractive. I love both bodies/features, and perhaps only have a slight preference for the female. When I think about being in a relationship, I feel I could be with anyone as long as they have a great personality. I've flip flopped from straight to bi-curious to bisexual to asexual and I've thought about demisexual...all kind of fit, but at the same time, I don't know if that's really what I am... I would love to hear opinions from this community, as well as hear if anyone else has had a similar experience.
Asexual people are still capable of masturbation, it's a basic body function and isn't always associated with sexual feeling. Some asexual people do it and some don't. Likewise, some asexual people say they feel sexual attraction but have no or very low desire to act on it. I'm afraid I don't know anything about sexual fantasies that asexual people have had, but I see no reason why they couldn't happen due to the previous statement and the fact that some asexual people do have relationships or engage in sex because of curiosity, because it is still pleasurable despite their lack of desire, or because their partner would like to and the asexual person doesn't mind doing it. That being said, it's entirely possible to be bisexual/pansexual with a low sex drive. If you notice your attraction is only or mostly towards people you are close to, that's more of an indicator of being demisexual. If it helps, you could identify as biromantic/panromantic, though it's understandable if that isn't something you want to do since you said before you don't really feel desire for a relationship. A lot about determining your sexuality is finding a name that's comfortable for you (if you even want one). You might not tick every single box, but if you feel that it works for you and describes you best then it's your right to use it. If all else fails, queer might be a label you could use, since it doesn't firmly place you somewhere but does show that you are non-straight. I hope this helps in some way!
