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from straight to trans to gay porn to gay cam chat

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by andrewalchemy, Aug 20, 2016.

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  1. andrewalchemy

    andrewalchemy
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    Good morning everyone, here's a little background.

    Since before puberty I had crystal clear and strong heterosexual desires, boners etc.
    I had three girlfriends long term which I loved and about ten casual sex encounters with women of different ages.
    I watch porn since I was 8-9. I started with soft core on cable tv.
    Even when I was with a girlfriend and my sex life was fulfilling I felt the urge to watch porn and get off.

    Here's the "traumatic" event:

    One day I downloaded compilation of straight porn. While watching one I came and in that moment what seemed a girl revealed to be a transgender.
    This happened in a very dark period of my life and I was smoking a lot of weed and cigarettes and I was generally lonely.
    After this I felt the urge to see transgender and gay porn and sometimes is was only thing that really excited me even though I couldn't possibly see myself acting out gay/trans behavior in real life.

    I managed to stop porn for 2 months and my desire to watch "forbidden" porn (gay or trans) lowered and I found lot of satisfaction masturbating to mind images of girls I like and to memories of real sex I had.

    But I relapsed.
    When I see a sexual trigger on my computer (could be a sexy image on facebook) I feel the urge to go see some straight or gay or lesbian or trans porn and I even found pleasure masturbating in cam with a guy who was also masturbating.
    But after that happened I fell asleep (because I was very tired) and dreamed to kiss and undress a woman and I woke up with a boner.
    It's very confusing.

    I started considering I might be bisexual.
    What do you think?

    Thanks for reading through this.


    Andrea-26 year old male
     
    #1 andrewalchemy, Aug 20, 2016
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    Porn isn't a good indication of sexual attraction or orientation, because the sexual response of men is strongly driven by visual stimuli. So some men will be aroused by any sexual act, whether men or women or whatever.

    So what I'd put my energy into is not the porn, but what arouses you when you masturbate without porn. You mention feeling strongly aroused when thinking about women and past encounters with women. What you may want to try is masturbating without porn and thinking about guys.

    I realize this could be scary, in that it could open a door to something you may not want. But the truth here is that whatever your sexual orientation is, it's pretty much hard wired and unchangeable, so you are best off understanding where your attractions and arousal lies.

    So if you decide to try this, focus in one session on guys, and in another on women, and see which produces the stronger reaction. Keep in mind there may be some revulsion after ejaculation to thinking about guys; this doesn't mean you don't have attraction to guys, only that your conscious and unconscious are in disagreement with each other and your conscious is trying to push the unconscious away.

    As far as the porn... I don't think it's very relevant to the conversation here.

    I hope this is helpful.
     
    #2 Chip, Aug 20, 2016
  3. andrewalchemy

    andrewalchemy
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    Wow Chip, that sure was useful!
    I actually tried what you said when I quitted porn for two months:

    -My oniric world was packed with women (erotic dreams)

    -My masturbation fantasies were 95% regarding women of my real life and 5% regarding gay porn I saw before.
    In the first scenario the masturbation had also emotional involvement, in the second it was absent, purely "mechanical".

    I might be a Kinsey 2, what's your take on this?
    (I feel labels are silly sometimes but so to speak they're ok)
     
    #3 andrewalchemy, Aug 20, 2016
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    So if you *intentionally* masturbate thinking about men, do you find your arousal to be less intense, or the experience itself to be less fulfilling?

    If so, then I'd probably concur you're somewhere between a 1 and a 2 (which, by the way, puts you with the overwhelming majority of people who identify as straight.)
     
    #4 Chip, Aug 20, 2016
  5. Synesthesia

    Synesthesia
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    From what I've heard dicks period are a sexual trigger for men, so it's possible to be turned on by dicks and not actually be sexually attracted to men generally. In fact that's part of the reason some straight guys develop exclusive preferences for porn with pre-op transwomen.

    On top of that, it's possible to be aroused by things that on a more conscious level really don't do anything for you or even disgust you just because they're really graphic or taboo to you personally. I've been in that situation with some written material I've used before, and usually when I'm no longer aroused I'm completely turned off and disgusted by it.
     
    #5 Synesthesia, Aug 20, 2016
  6. findingjoy

    findingjoy
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    100% agree.
    andrewalchemy::I porn and masturbation completely confused me because I kept looking for more and more thrills to 'get off' from lesbian porn to shemales to gay porn, so I took a break.

    This may not be the case for you but porn addiction forums recommend abstaining from porn or masturbation and orgasms for 30 to 90 days. After then your base sexuality will emerge.

    I have been trying this and I am almost done. In my case it turns out I am really gay - this really shocked me but I have to accept it. but for you it might be different.
    If you don't stop watching porn your fantasies and addictions will get worse not better and it will interfere with your really life relationships.
     
    #6 findingjoy, Aug 20, 2016
  7. andrewalchemy

    andrewalchemy
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    Yes Chip, the experience is less fulfilling.

    Synesthesia I guess you 're right, there are some taboo stuff that can give you more thrill.

    Findingjoy it is my case, I have been watching way too much porn and when I managed to abstain for 2 months life started to be much happier, I have a problem with that.
    In my past I struggled with cigarettes and weed addiction but today I'm clean from more than a year.
    So I guess my new challenge is to quit porn forever.
    From today I start my 90 days no porn.
    I hope you'll find the strenght to face your discovery.
    I really thank all of you for your dispassionate and useful answers
     
    #7 andrewalchemy, Aug 21, 2016
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