Hello, I'm currently an 18 year old guy and having a lot of trouble figuring out my sexual orientation. Ever since I can remember I've been attracted to females, and I've only ever wanted to have a girlfriend and have never seen a man and thought "Wow, I would like to have sex with him" or whatever but I can admit when another man is good looking without wanting to be with him, however, gay porn (More specifically erotica) turns me on sometimes. I don't think it's the same as when I'm turned on by straight/lesbian porn because I'm not attracted to the guys... But instead I get really anxious and my heart beats really fast like it's something I shouldn't be doing. I'm trying to be as open minded as possible and accepting the fact that I may be in denial or whatever but I'm just not attracted to men in real life, I'm pretty much always looking at girls when I'm out and never been turned on by a guy in real life (Have with a girl though) and the though of hugging/kissing/being in a relationship with a guy just has no appeal to me, whereas having a girlfriend would be great. I've read that porn preferences don't truly represent your sexual orientation, but getting turned on by gay porn just isn't something that happens to a straight person, is it? Sorry if this is all over the place, just kind of writing things as they come to my head. Any replies would be great, thank you.
I'll be honest, it really doesn't sound like you have any attraction to guys. You sound pretty straight to me. But those who say that porn preference doesn't equal sexuality are totally right. I remember seeing a video of a bunch of lesbians being interviewed about lesbian porn, and all of them said that they preferred gay male porn instead. Funny, considered how they weren't attracted to guys at all. :lol: I can't completely decide your sexuality, that's only something you can do, but you don't seem to have any interest in men to me. Maybe taking the Kinsey test will help you a little, in order to find more clarity?
You sound straight, but like you said, porn means nothing. I have known of plenty of straight people who said they watch gay porn. It's the desire and attraction that determines ones sexuality, not what they watch on a screen.
For some people, the act of seeing someone engaging in a sexual act is enough to arouse them. Doesn't matter who that person is, because the stimili is specifically sexual it can arouse you. The thought of something being taboo can also intensify arousal, even though it's something you aren't interested in and would never do - this seems similar to how you're feeling, since you said you feel anxious and like you shouldn't be doing it. If you don't watch porn, what do you normally fantasise about? This is a better indicator of what attracts you.
Thank your for the reply. It seems most people agree that porn doesn't have to 100% line up with your sexuality. I guess I just find that kind of hard to believe/accept. Thank you for the reply. I'll check out the Kinsey test. Yea, I think the "taboo" part of it was a big factor as I may have been thinking that it was something I "shouldn't" be doing. And I only fantasize about women to be honest. And I've never seen a guy and had the same feeling/reaction as I do when I see a really pretty/hot girl. Thanks for the reply. Also, some of my friends say that they can admit when another man is good looking but other say they can't and that it's gay. It's not, is it? Or are they just trying to prove something or whatever?
Plenty of women are able to look at other women and say "you look so beautiful today!" without actually being attracted to them and without any stigma attached. Men are just as capable of seeing if someone else is attractive without actually being attracted - there is stigma attached to it though. You're only gay if you are romantically or sexually attracted to men, and simply thinking someone looks good doesn't equal either of those things. A lot of the time those people who refuse to admit a member of the same sex is attractive feel insecure about their sexuality or are afraid that even showing a glimmer of possibly being gay (by implying that they are attracted to a man) will cause them to be ridiculed, so they try their best to make it as blatantly obvious as possible that they aren't gay. It might also have something to do with being a thing women tend to do more than men, so some see it as a girly action, and to a fair amount of people if you're a feminine man then you're automatically "gay" - if you think of the gay stereotypes, often it's a man speaking in a high pitched feminine voice and saying something along the lines of "you look FABULOUS today, darling!", and while some gay people do have feminine personalities like that, not all feminine men are gay and not all gay men are feminine.
