I am perplexed and upset that my wife doesn't make more assertive moves in sex... I lead everything it seems, Specifically, during intercourse, when she adjusts to a more "open" position..... I feel like I'm just pleasuring her in a kind of "static" way... Like she's making herself avail for the best "charge" (orgasm). Now this "stance" of hers is something I relate to in that it makes me think she's doing what I might like to do as a "bottom" with a man. That makes me feel that I'll never really please her because I'm not into fucking an "open" vagina.... Maybe I'm a "top" with a woman and a "bottom" with men. In fact, I was at a party once where she and a very attractive women friend of ours agreed they were both "bottoms"... I felt small because this women is insanely attractive and I felt as far as she was concerned I would be not useful, and she would view someone like me as Gay, or at least sexually immature. I think I start to feel that that is what women need to do and since I'll never really like it that much... It means I don't like women. Ugg! Omla is online now
That doesn't really read as sexual attraction to me and is just more how you like to have sex. If I didn't like doggy style but I liked missionary, it doesn't make me any less interested in men - it's just the ways which are comfortable for you. Not wanting to have sex in certain positions doesn't change your sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is who you're taking to bed, fetishes and sexual interests are what you do when you're IN the bed. There are also women who prefer to take a dominant role in the bedroom, they definitely aren't hard to come by. I'd recommend talking to your wife about the fact that you don't really feel pleasure when you have sex in that position. I'm sure she won't particularly mind if you want to have sex in a different position, or if you use that position for a while then switch to a different position that you enjoy more. Tell her that you think you'd enjoy it if she took control every now and then and led the session. On the other hand, if you find you're not attracted to your wife in general, or you don't want to have sex with her (or other women) in any way, shape, or form, that would imply that you are not interested in women.
You don't sound gay, because you seem to be attracted to women in your original post. Position or type of penetration doesn't have anything to do with sexual orientation. There are gay men who hate being penetrated, and are only "tops". Some gay men don't want anal at all. There are straight men who prefer a passive role, or who even prefer being penetrated, but only with women (pegging). There are lesbians who like being penetrated (strap-ons), and straight women who hate it (not as uncommon as you think). All sexual orientation means is that you like men, women, both, or neither. That being said, there is way more pressure for straight people to prefer certain roles like top/bottom, dominant/submissive, and masculine/feminine. Preferring the opposite role doesn't make you NOT straight, it just makes you stuck in a society that's shitty and discriminates against you. There are also BDSM and femdom groups for straight people who reverse roles and such, but they are still straight. So you're definitely not gay, but you could be bisexual, assuming you like to sleep with men.
