I need Help :/

If you hang around here for a while, I'm sure you'll find your way

Its not an easy thing to know or to come to terms with your sexuality - especially in your teens when your hormones are going crazy.

No one on here or in your life can tell you for sure if you're gay or biseuxal or straight or whatever but we can try to help you figure it out for yourself.

So, welcome to the forums!


What confuses you about girls? Have you felt anything towards any other boys or is it just the one?

 

Hello Luke,
You came to a good place to discuss your confusion. The people on this site have all been through what you are going through, in one form or another. Most of us start discovering our sexuality when we hit puberty. If you are worried about it, rest assured that what you are going through is perfectly normal.

It may take a while for you to fully understand your own sexuality. The people in this forum can discuss what you are feeling with you and give opinions, if you ask, but, ultimately, only you can take this journey for yourself – as we all have.

Don’t be in a rush to find a label for yourself (straight, bisexual, homosexual, etc). Just try to understand and accept what you are feeling. It may take time for you to understand and be comfortable with yourself. Having had feelings for another boy doesn’t automatically make you homosexual - or anything else. Every person is an individual. Your sexuality is unique to you and, in real life, human sexuality doesn’t fit into nice, tidy categories.

Good luck on your journey! We are here to support you in any way we can!

 

You're 13, so its perfectly natural for you to be confused. If you ever meet a 13 year old that isn't, they're lying.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't start reflecting on your start into your sexual identity development, but don't expect any quick answers now. Its a process that started years ago, and may very well continue for decades to come. Don't let that frighten you, though, either.
You have taken a fantastic step by joining this community and asking questions. The best thing to do is ask questions and take offered advice BUT, never ever do anything that makes you feel bad. Advice is fine but not all advice is appropriate.
I am always willing to help, if I can, as is my partner, Robert on this forum. I'm in my 30's and he's in his 20's, and we've both had wildly different experiences, so feel free any time to address us directly, if you like

 

Hi Luke, you're in a tough space right now. All of us here on EC are happy to read your posts and try and help you as much as we can. But is there anyone you could talk to about all of this? Maybe a counsellor at school or your parents?
human sexuality is a really complex thing, especially when you're 13. It sounds like you are attracted to guys more than girls and I can remember the first time I became aware of this myself. It hit me like a bomb going off in my head. So give yourself a bit of time to process the information and get used to the idea. And try and be patient and take care of yourself too. And don't forget that no matter what many people think, homosexuality is just as "normal" and "natural" as being straight.

 

Luke, I can remember being in your shoes at 13 and being completely tormented by the thought that I might be gay. At that age I was definitely checking out other guys in the locker room and in the halls, I would feel "tingly" around my other guy friends when we'd make contact. Yet I tried so hard to be into girls. At 13 I had a girlfriend and even then she suspected I might be gay.

At 13 you're still new to the world of raging hormones. Pay attention to who you're *really* looking at. Are you aroused by guys taking their shirts off? How about girls? For all you know, you might be straight, you might be gay, you might be somewhere in between. All of those scenarios are possible.

I'm really impressed you've come to this site to ask questions at 13. It's something at that age I would have been way too embarrassed to do.

 

Hi Luke, you're going to discover lots of things which you like about males. I could make a huge list of all the things I love about men. Enjoy it. It's just your sexuality kicking in. Try and enjoy it without feeling guilty or ashamed.

You still say that you need help. Is this forum enough help for you or do you need more? And do you have an idea of the kind of help you need? I'm really big on encouraging people to talk to someone they trust but also to look for professional help if it all feels too much. Have you seen if there's a support group for gay teenagers in your area? If you can't talk to your parents, is there someone else - maybe a teacher or even a parent of a good friend - you could talk to? The very first person I told about my fears of being gay were the parents of a close friend and they were very understanding. One of the most important things you need to do is not become isolated from the world because you're worried about people finding out. So try and find someone or a group where you can get to know other teenagers going through the same thing as you right now. It'll help you a lot.
Take care

 

Hey Luke, I know exactly what you're going through. I'm 13 as well, and I know what it's like to be extremely confused and questioning your sexuality.
I've known that I am a lesbian for a few years and for awhile I was terrified of how people would react and I hid my sexuality. I claimed that I was bisexual, just so that I could survive. Bisexuality, at least where I live and at my school, isn't shunned or made fun of as much or as bad. I dated 3 guys just to see if I was actually bisexual and because, and I know that this is bad, I pitied them. I tricked myself into thinking that I actually liked them, and in doing that one of them took advantage of my emotions and manipulated me into saying "I love you" way too fast. :eusa_doh:
I wasn't being true to myself and I came out this summer to most of my family and most of my friends. I still get confused (feelings are confusing!), yes, but it gets better with everyday.
The people on this forum are extremely helpful, and if you have any question in the future about your sexuality, I'm sure that there will always be someone to help.
Good luck on this journey called life! (*hug*)