Hi! I'm a cis girl senior in high school! Recently I've had feelings for a guy, which is making me super confused. I'll start at the beginning. For most of my young childhood, I had no awareness of queerness or being gay. For the most part, I was like my straight counterparts, and nothing felt unusual. Kind of spontaneously, I began to realize my attraction for girls are 8th/9th grade. It actually didn't bother me too much. I was already an LGBT ally and knew being something other than straight was okay! I knew my family wouldn't be accepting, but coming out wasn't really a priority back then. Eventually, I felt my attraction was pretty evenly "split" between genders. Sometimes I would be more attracted to girls, sometimes to guys. I confidently came out as bisexual my sophomore year. I was sure this label was right. I had dated two guys, and while I was really attracted to them at the beginning of the relationships, but my attraction seemed to just fade after a short while. I took this as a sign I should try dating girls, hence the coming out. Upon coming out, I began to talk to some girls (not date), and things felt really right. Eventually, I started dating my first girlfriend (still friends). It was a dream! It felt so natural and I felt liberated from all the unspoken rules heterosexual couples follow. I really loved her. However, we broke up shortly when we realized we really had more platonic chemistry than romantic. We both decided this was probably another situation where two queer kids meet and are both desperate for some love, and end up dating someone just because they want a gf/bf. Around this time (beginning of my junior year) to now (beginning of my senior year) I was pretty much convinced I was a lesbian. I had no crushes on guys, no thoughts of marrying men, and had taken my previous two failed relationships with guys as a sign. I even began to think about coming out to my family as gay. At this point I would say my attraction is/was about 90% focused on women, and maybe 10% on men. Here comes the plot twist. There's this great, attractive, sweet guy at school. He tells me I'm gorgeous, and has told me on multiple occasions he has or had some kind of feelings for me. These confessions were all on social media "tbh" posts, some it wasn't as weird as this might read haha. I didn't take notice at first, but now I'mve come to terms with the fact that I definitely like him. Since I've come back to school from break, I've had several guys flirt with me, and it's catching me off guard. Personally, I always love flirting with anyone! It's usually just harmless and most people know I'm gay (or am I). However, know that I realize I might actually like this guy, I have absolutely no idea what to do. I became so comfortable with dating girls forever. I've never felt as comfortable with (cis) men sexually, and I feel like that may be a big roadblock to dating (I'm a pretty sexual person). I'm just totally lost. Do I actually like him? Or is this just how someone who has been conditioned by a misogynistic and heterosexual society responds to male attention. Am I going back to bi!??? All of my friends are supportive and remind me this doesn't erase my attraction to girls, but all of this is still really stressful. Have any of you been in this position? What was the outcome? Thank you for reading this!! I really appreciate any feedback
