Hey there, I am new to this site and this is the first time writing anything related my current situation, so any input would be much appreciated! Okay, so, I am twenty-one, female, and have never been in any kind of serious relationship before, mainly because I never felt that 'spark' or enthusiasm to be with a guy enough to make me want a relationship at all. The thing is, I have been thinking about it a lot for the past year or so, and wondering why I have never wanted a relationship or been as bothered as my friends about having a boyfriend. Generally, throughout my years in school/ education, and life altogether, I have always been closer to guys than girls - guys are pretty much my best friends who make me laugh and love the same things I do. I have never had too many great friendships with girls at all, because I always found it harder to be close to them/ relate to what they like (fashion, boys etc.) It is almost like I was/ am shy around them, I guess you could say. I have had many guys ask me out, but I could just never feel the urge or desire to actually be more to them than just a friend, and I was beginning to think I had an issue with being close to a guy or getting intimate. I always love the personalities of these guys, but it never has been enough for me to want to be with them romantically. It has always confused my parents (my mum especially) as there have been one or two guys whom I was very close with, and they thought we'd really make a great couple, but I just never went further with it because I just could not see myself getting close in a romantic, physical way with them. Skip to now, and still unsure, but the more I think about it, the more I can't see myself having a relationship with a guy at all. The thought of being intimate with them is off-putting to me, and I have never felt any physical attraction to a guy at all - I find them good-looking, but nothing more than that. But when I think about having a relationship with another woman, I feel quite excited by the idea, and more comfortable and happy with the thought. Just this week I have been thinking about it more, and I really, really am giddy with the prospect of maybe looking at a relationship with a woman, which is more than what I have ever felt about anything romantic at all with a guy in my entire life thus far. I am confused, as I have never really thought about this before, but now that I have been thinking about it internally, I really think I may be gay, or at least bisexual. How did you 'know'? Also, any advice/ input would be great! Thanks! :icon_bigg
Hi, I'm a bit younger than you and I would rather let someone who is more experienced give you advice. However I know how it feels to question yourself and feel like everything has changed, so you're not alone! I really hope you find an answer and find peace, and meet someone lovely! I'm sorry I can't give you detailed advice as I know that's what you want most like I do, but I can offer my solidarity if it helps! EC is a great place and everyone is very welcoming I've found (I'm new here too) so I think you're in a good environment! Good luck!!
