Lets put a really long story short. I was molested when i was about 8 by a male, that continued on and off for about 3 years. Lets keep in mind that this is something that after the first time i willing partacted in and even enjoyed. The years went buy and i disscovered online daiting because where i am from there is no such thing as being openly gay.so i met a few guys there we dated,entered relationships and they ended for various reasons but i was happy and i enjoyed this life and couldnt see myself doing anything else but now idk wats happening. So over the years i realized once in a while i would watch str8 porn &masturbate but 90% of the time watch gay stuff but now i hardly watch gay porn,i havent had sex with a guy in almost a month and usually i would be so horny but now am not. The other day i even caught myself checking a girl out and thinking she is sexy and since lately i just dont feel the way i used to about men. Idk if its the bad relationships or bad dating experiences but i just dont feel into anymore My question is what the hell is going on with me am i bi? Or was i never really gay but just tramatized ? Am i just tired of guys because i always end up hurt?if i am bi how do i even meet someone,i dont have a clue how to i have always been gay?how do i figure out wats going on with me?
Hey there. I was molested too. I too was willing participant but I was being manipulated and didn't know any better. He was older. I was about 6 and went on for a few years as I remember. I went the other way when the world told me gay was bad. I never let myself experiment with a guy and really wish I had. I love my wife and child but truth be told I am craving let's say some male attention. Go experiment with a girl and see what you really want. May gay, bi or straight. Or somewhere in between. Go do it. If you don't you will regret it later on. Love Love
Hi Lostkid, something you really need to know and really need to understand: A child doesn't like being sexually abused and a child cannot be "willing". Perpetrators use all sorts of tricks to make a child feel like they are willing participants - but it's just manipulation. And sexual abuse won't make you gay. And you were definitely traumatised by the abuse. Before you even start to think or worry about your sexual orientation, you're going to need to get help with your experiences of having been sexually abused. Have a look at this here: https://1in6.org/men/get-help/ It's incredibly courageous of you to come onto this forum and tell everyone that you were abused as a little kid. It's not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong - you are a victim or a survivor of something terrible. It took me more than thirty years before I could talk to anyone about having been abused as a kid. It's not easy to confront the memories, but with the right help you can definitely move on. Take care and all the best.
