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Why are my fantasies so disproportionate?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by SkyWinter, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. SkyWinter

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    So, basically I find myself looking at women more when out in public or on t.v. or whatever, but when it comes time to fantasize and I've got my eyes closed I gravitate towards men. Why is that?

    I've really just started being more accepting and open with myself in recent times with being bisexual so I don't know if that might be factoring in or not. But it's weird how I can be turned on thinking about a specific woman, but then when it's fantasy time 'poof' who cares cause I want to picture a guy on top of me.

    I'm not saying this is bad, but I'm wondering what's going on. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
     
  2. PrettyinPunk

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    Well the thing about fantasies are just that, they're fantasies. What you desire in fantasy doesn't always match up with sexual or romantic orientation. And sometimes it does.

    Maybe at the moment or in general you have a preference for men so when you close your eyes you focus on that gender. But of course you still see attractive women around you. Do you find yourself attracted to guys you see in public, like the women? And are the fantasies your having only sexual in nature or romantic too?

    Currently for me, my fantasies both sexual and romantic are pretty much female focused. Of course outside of that, in daily life my attractions are pretty nonexistent for either gender. But I think what your experiencing is normal, especially for bi peeps.
     
  3. SkyWinter

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    Thanks for the response. "Bi peeps" haha, I like that.

    Well, part of me accepting being bi has also been allowing myself to have sexual thoughts about men that I see in everyday life. Ten years, five years, or even a year ago I'm not sure I would have admitted even to myself that I was attracted to a guy. Now, it's different. Now I can look at a guy and actually admit I find them attractive and have sexual thoughts about them in the moment.

    Are my fantasies romantic too? So far not yet, which is confusing, but I can't say that's not for me as it's not something I have experienced yet with a guy. So, maybe?
     
  4. ABeautifulMind

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    That is pretty normal in my opinion.

    Have you never fantasized about women? because if not you might want to examine why that is... Could it be your attracted to the idea of a hetero life from conditioning so you are attracted to women in real life but fantasize about guys? I know a lot of bisexual people consider that,, I know I have... The important thing is to be honest with yourself. Good luck, I am sure you will be able to power through this :slight_smile:
     
  5. SkyWinter

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    I do fantasize about women. I just seem to be leaning more towards guys recently. It's like a woman will turn me on, but I don't want to think about that when fantasizing.

    Thinking about it though, I can't say the opposite is true. I can't remember being turned on by a guy and then focusing on women in a fantasy.

    So I dunno.

    And yeah, there is still a certain attraction I have towards a hetero life.