For the longest time, I thought I was ace. But in actuality I don't think so. Some good points brought up in other threads, by Chip and other members, have helped me gain perspective on sexualities. Fact is, I am gay. I have a virtually nonexistent sex drive because of depression, and sometimes crippling social ineptitudes, but this is not equivalent to my sexuality. I am attracted to guys and if I were able to have a healthy relationship with a bloke, I'd like that very much. Though it frightens me so much. Sometimes I wish to God I was straight so things would be simpler for me as a trans-guy. Whether my family will ever know or be involved should I get a boyfriend in the future doesn't look hopeful. In fact, I doubt I'll let anyone know I'm gay, at least not for a long time. I'm already breaking under the pressure of being trans and gay isn't something I can deal with right now. How do I make peace with being gay? I guess that's the whole point. Maybe it's my craziness talking, but I often feel that it doesn't matter as I'll never be capable of a relationship. I wish I could be proud of being gay, but I'm just not at that point right now.
