I have feelings for women. They look better to me than men lately. I am particularly attracted to women's breasts for what reason I don't clearly know but I have an idea. When I look at women I automatically look at their breasts and then catch myself. Am I doing something wrong? Men do this all the time don't they? When I was a child I was in the basement looking at a Look magazine and there were women on the beaches in Europe and I was staring at them as they were topless and I was really admiring them a lot and my dad came down into the basement and saw me looking at them and started yelling at me and pulled me by the hair slapping me in the face dragging me all the way up the stairs. That was pretty harsh wasn't it? I have had feelings of admiration towards women a lot and have thought many of them look appealing to me. I haven't told anyone this. My friends think I am straight. I know I am bisexual because of my feelings, though. I don't know how bisexual I am, though. I have relationships with men but nothing serious for years. Seems I just don't care any more. I fear being labeled. Maybe I'm not the only one?
Well, first of all I'm sorry your dad treated you that way. There is nothing wrong with looking at breasts whether you are gay, straight, bi or whatever. He shouldn't have done that to you. Why do your friends think you are straight? What about your feelings makes you think you are bi?
You are definitely not alone and everything you describe sounds perfectly fine to me. If you are solely attracted to women, that's awesome, if you are bisexual, that is also awesome. You don't have to label yourself or feel forced to adopt a label. Just go with the flow and see what you really want. Your dad's reaction was definitely not OK, and I hope that you are safe now, wherever you are. Be yourself and (depending on where you life and how LGBT friendly your surroundings are) live it. There is really nothing to be ashamed of. Depending on how old you are, and whether you live on your own, you can just visit an LGBT centre close to you. I had great experiences just talking to the councillors in my town, they helped me get over a lot of my anxiety. If your friends think your straight, tell them if it bothers you or just let them think whatever they want. Most of my friends assume I'm straight, I only tell them when the topic comes up.
Thanks. I haven't told any of my friends I have feelings for women but one probably knows it because I have looked at her admiring her breasts and because I think she is pretty. I think I have made her uncomfortable so I try not to look at her that way and then sometimes it just happens that I look at her that way and I feel stupid because she is married and would not be interested in me. Then it has kind of turned into OCD where I try not to look and then I look all the more. It has become painful for me. I don't want to offend anyone.:eusa_doh: ---------- Post added 12th Sep 2016 at 05:39 AM ---------- Well, I live in a very LGBT community and the men who are gay seem to be accepted by my friend very much so and by all of us really. But I have had feelings for my friend and I think it is offending her and I feel so stupid and want to stop having feelings for her but it's not that easy. She is not available so would not be interested in me. And I am not that bisexual into pursuing a relationship with a woman at this point; it scares me as I don't know how much I am interested in women. I do know that I still have a bit of interest in men as I am seeing a man now. But sex does not interest me. You may say I'm Asexual, I'm on meds that take away my libido anyhow. I just like to be friends with both sexes if that is possible. I have friends of both sexes. But I find women to be so beautiful and I love to look at them. Some women have felt offended by the way I have looked at them and have put their arms over their bodies to cover theirselves from my gaze. I guess I look a bit too hard at them but it is in an admiring way. I just think they look so nice. I just need to say this as I haven't been able to tell anyone this. I think women are magnificent in the way they look!
