For all my life, I've always expressed romantic interests in girls. I would find girls attractive based on their physical appearance, and that would sometimes leave me infatuated. However, for the past couple years I've been noticing some guys, but not exactly in a romantic way, but sexual. I haven't had a guy that I've developed a romantic crush on yet, but I occasionally do fantasise about having a boyfriend. I'm confused if the term 'bisexual' applies to me, because truth be told, I've never really been turned on by a girl by how she looks, in contrast to guys, which happen more often than not. I've heard the name 'biromantic homosexual' be thrown around, but I'm still unsure if this is accurate. Additionally, I'm still going through puberty, so I'd also like to ask if it's true that attractions can change during and after adolescence. Thanks for putting up with and helping this basket case
Attractions can very well change during or even after adolescence. But especially during puberty, your hormon levels vary wildly which can lead to all sorts of confusion. There are several layers to your question: 1) Lables are kind of useless, what is important and valid is how you feel. 2) Romantic and Sexual Attraction might diverge, some people claim they do, some claim there is no evidence for that. Go with what you are comfortable with. If you are sexualy attracted to guys, but not romantically, you probably haven't found someone to "click" with. That's no problem, I'm 21 and have until recently never really loved a guy... 3) Liking girls, even loving and idolizing them is not unheard of from gay men. After all, Hetero girls and gay men have some things in common. Close friendships and romantic live are sometimes very close together. I say (depending on how old you are) put yourself out there, date some boys, date some girls and see what happens. Dating men can sometimes feel weird in the beginning, because we are so universally drilled with images and ideas of Hetero normative love. Just make sure you are safe and comfortable. I don't know how accepting Singapore is of LGBT, so can't really offer any advice there.
One of the complicating factors here is that nearly all of us carry stigma about same sex attraction. So when we start feeling it, our conscious mind rejects the idea, and we go through all sorts of mind-tricks to try and resolve the conflict. As we process the loss of our identity as straight, there are five stages we go through: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. Very often, during the bargaining stage, we acknowledge same-sex attraction, but try to convince ourselves we can still end up with the opposite sex. Of course... some people are genuinely bisexual, but the majority who go through this stage end up toward the gay end of the spectrum. As the previous poster said, it's also quite common for gay men to have girls as their best friends and close confidants. I think this is what leads people to the mistaken idea of "romantic attraction". That term was never used until a small group of people suddenly invented this idea a few years ago, with no evidence, research, study, grounding, or even a large sampling of people to base it on... they literally pulled it out of their asses and unfortunately, it's caught on even though there's nothing whatsoever to actually indicate that it's real. On the other hand... a deep, close, nonsexual relationship that is caring and emotionally intimate, with a person with whom you have no sexual desire... that's been described for centuries, and we have a well-established word for it: friendship. It is, of course a deeper friendship than a casual one, but it still meets all the hallmarks of friendship. And in a large portion (if not all) cases where people identify "romantic attraction" this is most likely what it is. So... I wouldn't bother messing with whether you're sexual-this and romantic-that. Focus on where your sexual attractions are, recognize that you're most likely in the bargaining phase (which is where most people convince themselves that one or more of the bazillion special labels apply) and... be patient and see where it leads you. The label isn't important, but understanding yourself is what matters. IF you must have something to tell people, you can say "I'm not sure", "I'm still figuring it out", "I'm questioning" "I'm leaning toward bi" or "I'm leaning toward gay." All are acceptable. As is almost anything else... labels are something you choose, and no one can tell you what label to use, recognized or not. One thing I can assure you: It will get clearer with time
