I'm a lesbian and am feeling very attracted to a certain guy. I've actually never met him in person... he makes YouTube videos and has a small number of subscribers. He shows a lot of himself and his life online, and he's a very honest, genuine person. I've 'watched' him so much and feel like I know a lot about him (even though I obviously don't really know him). We've Snapchatted a few times though and have messaged briefly on there. He's pansexual, though he says he's usually more into men. He's a fairly effeminate guy too and most of his videos are about makeup, hair or beauty. I've followed him on social media for a yesr and my feelings have grown. I find him incredibly beautiful, inside and out. I'm aware that perhaps I sound a bit obsessed. I've never felt attracted to a guy this much before - only ever girls. When I was younger I had a few crushes on guys, but they were nothing compared to the feelings I've had for women (and now this guy). As I said, he's quite effeminate. Seeing as I like women, I'm obviously attracted to his femininity, yet I also feel sexually attracted to him... I'm so confused and don't know what this means. In real life, I hardly ever feel attracted to men. If I do, it's because they have more typically feminine traits. Longer hair, tall or slender, gentle, softer spoken, creative. 'Masculine' men turn me right off. Feel like I'm going crazy here. I can't stop thinking about him and I look at his photos all the time. I'm ashamed and feel pathetic, as I know nothing will ever happen anyway. Any advice would be appreciated.
Is it not okay for you to be attracted to him? If you're questioning your sexuality, then that's okay. There are plenty of people like you, who are attracted to feminine traits. I don't think I understand the problem. Some people identify as demisexual, where they develop sexual attraction only after connecting with a person on a strong emotional level. Your situation sounds similar to that, and I think that it's totally normal for anyone to feel that way. If you like him sexually, then technically I guess that would make you Bi, but I honestly don't think you should worry about labeling yourself.
Yeah I guess there's nothing wrong with me liking. I guess the problem is me feeling bad about it and that's what I need to get over. I just needed to let out how I feel, honestly. Thank you for your advice though.
Some lesbians develop compulsory heterosexuality crushes on unattainable men, especially celebrities who they can never meet. Right now he's just a fantasy to you. Fantasies aren't real. What matters is how you feel about the people you know and interact with in real life. This attraction doesn't mean you aren't a lesbian, but if you choose to identify as bisexual because of it, that's your choice and whatever you choose to identify as is totally valid.
No one is 100 per cent lesbian or 100 per cent straight! Well probably very few! There is definitely a scale and should not worry if you do not totally fit a label, although 'lesbian' seems the best label - I guess you could still accept that you may have elements of other labels lol
Hey hey, I'm 100% lesbian But I agree that It's probably a minority. Those who are more rigid are considered maybe 10% of the population.
